Life — May 5, 1904 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

First Burglar Second Burglar: NOT ON YOUR LIFE! said Clarence, at the end of the third week, ‘it seems now quite evident that conic sections cut no ice with that diplomatic bearing toward customers that reduces to a minimum the possi- bility of their making an escape without leaving an order. In w of these facts, and out of respect for papa’s out- it will therefore be best to discover at once the proper way to utilize all the vast knowledge that I have been Approaching, therefore, the head office boy, who was born in the slums and had just arrived at the dignity of a desk, Clarence y this time it has, nto you that my evident superiority is of such a nature as to render me invaluable to those for- tunate enough to employ me. I am in doubtless, become pl YOU FORGET THIS some embarrassment, however, to dis- cover just how to utilize all the facts at my disposal—facts gathered at great expense and acquired from numberless Always before I have had How can I acquire recitations. a desk of my own. one now, by means of my all-superior education?” “Easy enough,” said the head office boy, adding up cighteen figures at a glance, * Forgit it!” TM. Next. IRST CITIZEN: Why did he re- sign from the navy ? Srcoxp Crtizex: He only com- manded a battleship, and was offered the position of janitor in the Louis XIV. Apartment Palace. WE MUST GET UP THROUGH NEW ENGLAND, HALF DONE SAID THE CLEVER YOUNG AERONALT PIPPy MALY THE WoRK 1s Z hn THEN eT VE ALL 1 NEED TO MAKE Now ts THE site!" comicbooks.com