Life, 1904-03-31 · page 8 of 20
Life — March 31, 1904 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains **railroad humor and social commentary**, not political cartoons. The content mocks the International and Great Northern Railroad through two photographs and accompanying text. The humor centers on the railroad's notorious reputation: it's described as so unreliable and uncomfortable that it would transform a healthy man into a "green, cholera-stricken looking fellow" in nine minutes. The detailed poem "The R.R. B and O." catalogs passengers' physical sufferings—jolting, grinding sounds, bizarre sleeping positions—presented as inevitable hardships of rail travel. The separate section "An Apt Comparison" uses a sketch showing two figures embracing, suggesting the life-as-verb metaphor applies to railroads: both should be "regular, transitive, and indicative." The satire targets real passenger complaints about this specific railroad line's poor conditions and service.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
you are tired of the usual journeys. You want something ex- 1 system? North- citing for your nervous-prostra nd Great ern Railroad. ud is it oft Pry the Inte going throagh ‘Te but overnight in other States, especially the state of confusion and man The International Great Northern will take a healthy and turn him into o gre cholera-struck looking fellow iu minutes. When he is too weak to hold on to his chair for dear life, then the train thinks it expedient to jump out of the rails and survey the neighboring landscape nd Great Northern door shattered window In the Interna passengers get in uh and get out from th if they can climb to them ‘The engineers are so artistically trained that they invariably choose a picturesque spot where cars can dance a cake-walk to the complete benefit of the passe The engines are provided with a special ars from the instrument that spasmodically distributes smoke and ashes in the ear. m-heater works only during July st The ties are kept years before bi Che Int es the prosper- life Altrocchi, onder ground ten solicits Semper 8. The R. R. Band O. k the peerless on the ge I answer, Pat the prize-tag on the R.R. Band 0. con of me a wurk nd perky, Its cars are rank a Its owners pert notives jerky, ding fast or slow Its curves impart © conniption,” Its gi description, are tipped on R. Band 0. ‘The furnishings are able In filth to shame the stable In Herculean fable Three thousand years ago. lippy” antippe, s* flippy, R. Band 0. Conductors are as As Sw The trainmen all The R or old d ting woe. fell intoning. nd dismal r g, Now weird, unearthly groaning, The R.R. Band 0 By night you growl and grumble And curse tumble, mble Or knotted in a bow, Until you dream of witches, Unfathe ditches, And seventy-seven-year itches, The R. R. Band O. I'm used to earth's grimaces Her rough and dirty faces, I don’t expect her graces— Just these alone—to show. Bat when at flying switches My tongue my ear half-bitches, And spine drops thirteen stitches, I think ‘tis time to “blow” The R. BR. Band 0. The stingy, dingy, hobbly, wobbly, Jagged and jeering. domineering I. R. Band 0, Woovereck, V Edward Watson, An Apt Comparison. {THE ideal life should be lke a verb. It should be regular, forming its principal parts: re; . It be transitive, requiring an object to complete its meaning. It should be active voice and not passive. It should be indicative mood, ing a thing as afact and not doubtful. It should be present tense, for if the present is right the past will be right and the future will be right. It should be third per- son, spoken of and not speaking, or spoken to; singular in aim, ambition and purpose. should “a Par EXCHANGE Is No RoBbERY.” comicbooks.com