Life, 1904-03-31 · page 18 of 20
Life — March 31, 1904 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains **mostly advertisements and light satirical humor** rather than political cartoons. The top-left section features "Germ's Preferred," a humorous poem mocking antiseptic zealotry—poking fun at the growing obsession with sterilization and germ theory in this era. Below that, "Take Your Choice" satirizes American history education, presenting absurd student answers about which historical figure they prefer. The humor targets poor educational outcomes; students cite violent actions (Jackson "whipping" the British, killing) as their reasons for admiration, suggesting both flawed teaching and students' misguided values. The page is otherwise dominated by **period advertisements**: Trimble Whiskey, Gold Lion Cocktails, Southern Pacific Railroad, Abbott's Angostura Bitters, and Stalls Books (a self-help series). A Russian-themed poem fills space with intentionally unpronounceable place-names, appearing to be absurdist humor or parody of ethnic comedy popular at the time. Overall, this is a typical **early-20th-century magazine page blending light satirical content with commercial advertisements**.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
GERMS PREFERRED bh they A deadly germ Lurks In the sweetest kiss, Let's hope the day Is far away Of antiseptic bline. To sterilize A lady's sighs Would simply Va much prefer or her lou Atlanta Journat HOTEL VE | Tne {deal hotel of permanent and transient guests, TAKE YOUR CHOICE A writer in Lippincott’s tells of a young teacher who had taken special pains to implant a knowledge of United States history, who could but feel that much good seed sown had fallen on ground, when at the final exami n the quest “What character do you Mke best. and why forth the following astonishing replies: Andrew Jackson, because be whipped the with an old hickory. . who was elected President twice world ne wall, and fell dead s shot and killed standing io and died saying, ‘Jefferson survives, I am ar" | to, who waded in the Mississipp! up to a there found his grave | n, who left his o ¢ fleld and went and beat the Bri redoubtful Jobn Paul Jones, be at them British or bust, his elbow Eacu returning eeason—every season of the brings demand for Abbo: blood and nerve renewer, RUSSIAN POPULAR SO In my trans-Baikaliar 1 the Zmiebog- miptavzworski With my bri D And our cousin Petroplanztravm from Djargamo- triliskiorbrneovitch I used guvmzszosk! Ott would come to visit us an Ab, those happy, sunny hours of cur childhood ! How I weep to think that they will come no more For Jn ruins les the home within the wildwood Par away upon the Zmlebogsmiptavzworski shore. spend the day Ob, the moon is shining bright upon the Zmlebog- qvzworski Where the catfish browses on the new mown hay Through the szczyamores the candle lights are £ On the banks of the Zmieh away semiptqvzworski far —Councit Bluffs Nonpareit, Macrstrate: Will yc ke this man to be your lawful husband, love, bi and obey bim? Mirinpa: Look byar, jedge, I'll “gree to wash an’ tron fer dis nigger, but I aint zwine ter ‘low him “ A health to you, And wealth to you, And the best that life can give to you. May Fortune still be kind to you, And Happiness be true to you, And Life be long and good to you, Is the toast of all of your friends to you.” ‘A pure rye, Whiskey Green Label. oe > | Sole Proprietors, ; 2 e WHITE, HENTZ &CO., bs 7. Phila’) & New York. | ESTABLISHED 179324 AT ALL FIRST-CLASS DEALE in vest-pocket form—gathered on many journeys, ia many climes, by A. Globe- totter, Rich and rarein witand humor, Sent postpald upon receipt of price, ve, THE WHITNEY PUBLISHING CO., Clevetand, 0. Ffity years of success. The sim- plest and best remedy for Coughs and Throat Troubles. /” boxes only. Avoid i Wittens. Kd Warren Mow ter boss me.—Butte Inter-Mountain. BOOKS AND BOOKLETS ABOUT CALIFORNIA The land of sunshine, fruit and flowers, where thers are no sudden changes in tempera- ture. but a tonic, balsamic, bracing air the year round. Best reached via Southern Pacific OPERATING DAILY THE Sunset Limited TRAVERSING LOUISIANA, TEXAS, NEW AND OLD MEXICO, ARI- ZONA, AND CALIFORNIA INQUIRE AT Street, 109 South Thint Street, LL NUTTIN FO. MeCORMI T. J, ANDERSO: » New York City, ‘sun Francisco, Cal. OFT as velvet-—and with just the fang to make you hungry. Blended so perfectly no one taste predominates, GOLD LION Cocktails (ready to ice) never vary. GOLD LION Cocktails—Seven kinds — Manhattan, Vermouth, Whiskey, Martin, Tom Gin, Dry Gin—and the American Of good wine merchants. ‘The Cook & Bernheimer Co, Makers New York SELF AND SEX SERIES gaeeh end Inereation Tid mete Somticnded by highest we 4 BOOKS TO ME. By Sylvanes Stal, D.D. BR, What a Young Ro: i Ought tok Ma Ought to Kaow. 4 Rooks To Wo: by Mra, Mary Wont Aten, Whota What a Young Woman Ought to huow. Whot 0 ¥. 3 Ought to know, Kg #1 per cops, post free. Table of contents fret me * Mashood's Morning’ ‘A book of high Ideals for young idea gift books $4, wet. sthe Light," devottonal/Stall). splendid book f * Materalty "(Dri Vir Publishing Co.*™ytand tits Bite. OLD CROW RYE sda WHISKEY SOLE H. B. KIRK & CO., BOTTLERS, NEW YOPK. comicbooks.com