Life, 1904-03-17 · page 8 of 24
Life — March 17, 1904 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Life* magazine presents "Heart to Heart Talks" by Eddie Willeymoy Bock, addressed to children. The illustration shows a man in formal dress holding a small child, with the caption "Be pure, be intelligent, and be foxy." The piece is satirical advice-giving that mocks sentimental morality columns. Bock ironically claims to be "the only and original lad di dah Editor in the land" with "pure thoughts," then undermines this by explaining how to succeed through calculated self-interest—acquiring money while maintaining appearance of virtue. The final exchange between Von Blumer and his wife about attending "decent plays" (having already seen all indecent ones) reinforces the satire: the column targets hypocrisy among the wealthy, who publicly perform propriety while privately pursuing pleasure.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
- LIPE« Heart to Heart Talks. By Eppie Wiuiesoy Bock. Dit bittle Boys aud Girte: How glad I am to be with you once more, and I? what a thrill it sends over me to note the genuiue pleasure y in your faces. You know, of course, that I am the only and original lah di dah Editor in the land, and that my thoughts are all pure, Always have pure thoughts, dear boys and girls, even if you cannot constantly have me with you as a personal conductor. Pure thoughts are not always as easy as you think. Only by sending me a dollar a year and reading my advice can you hope to have a ladylike mind. Bat if I read your minds aright, not only do you wish to have pure thoughts, but also to know how to get along in the world. And this has always been my motto: As much cash as possible, and as many pure thoughts as possible to go with it. This is the secret of success. Perhaps you think, my dears, that it is an easy ~ thing to be as successful as I am, but try it and see. Soe There are grafts and grafts, as you know. There is the Scotch graft of Mr. Carnegie, and the Christian Science graft of Mother Eddy, but the Namby- pamby graft is the toughest yet. Sometimes, as I look around, my heart aches to think of the number of men aud women in this country who are too intelligent to read the Ladies’ Hum Journal, Bat Ido not dare cater to them, for fear I shall lose all the others. And so, dear little ones, you see that I, too, have my tri: In the midst of my anxiety as to whether a druggist who works on Sunday can be a Christian, whether a young i woman who has become engaged to a young man should allow him to take her to Thursday evening prayer meeting without a chaperon, whether the times are prosperous. t enough to allow of a receipt of more than two eggs toa } custard for four, and whether a young boy of thirteen fet should be allowed to kiss a chorus girl under seventy fos years of ‘age, I am constantly obliged to consider whether the nature of my advice is calculated to increase the circulation. This is the main point, and one that has to be ap- proached in a prayerful spirit. In the meantime, my dear young friends, remem- | ber what [have said. Be pure, be intelligent, and be foxy, and if you cannot fool all the people all the time, you can fool some of them all the time, which is good enough for all practical purposes. + (7 ON BLUMER: What play shall we see to. night? Mrs. Von Biumer: Is there anything decent? “No. We've seen all the decent play We've “Bie pure, be intelligent, and be fory.” already been one night this season.” comicbooks.com