Life, 1904-03-17 · page 18 of 24
Life — March 17, 1904 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Life magazine page contains three main elements: **"Scissors at Nullus" cartoon**: A satirical story about a German immigrant seeking U.S. citizenship. The humor relies on the immigrant's broken English and his misunderstanding of constitutional principles. When asked if he's read the Constitution, he responds he hasn't but approves of it anyway—a jab at naturalization procedures and immigrants' cursory engagement with American civic documents. The inspector's willingness to vouch for him suggests lax oversight. **"Table Manners" section**: Brief etiquette humor about proper dining behavior, including a story about a military officer's excuse for tardiness involving locked-up medals. **"A Child Thrust" anecdotes**: Short jokes about children's innocent observations, including one about a child noting her mother's hands were dirty as a girl. The page is primarily **advertising**: Wilson Whiskey, Milo Cigarettes, Pianola, and 20th Century Limited train service occupy significant space. The satirical content addresses early-1900s immigration and assimilation concerns while maintaining the lighthearted tone typical of Life's humor magazine format.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
station, and before one could say “scat” and dodge + he ing duty on th tion, It was just betwee WITH HIS ENTIRE APPROVAL T. VY. eral of Immigration, to him by one It a oWwoERL, formerly Commissioner-G tells a story that was r of the inspectors. pears that ain German Just landing country, became very friendly with the inspector in question. As he remained in New York, where he was employed by one of the big hotels, he visited from time to tin the inspector who had put to him the usual ques- tions upon his arrival at New York When the period of five years’ residence in the United § Fequisite to the obtaining of natural- fzation, bad ed, the Teuton sought out his old friend, the inspector, with inquiries to what steps it would be ssary for him to take to ob- tain his citizenship papers. So his friend gave him t and, in a spirit of kin s, the Ge to the judge to whom application for naturalization to be made. The usual interrogatories which was: “You have a ce immi in this ant, as ne e necessary advice Promised to go with were asked, among read the Constitution of this coun- ‘o, your hone responded the ( I haf not read der Constitution : tome. Und I It is fery fery much bleased mit It!" granted the necessary papers.—S idly trent Kra dot I liked 1 honor, und I a The jud urday Evening Post, ; WHEN YOU TURN DOWN 40 TURN DOWN Your the sound la save ha: Not a sound stirred the streets of Mai the rhymic fall of the ancient laborer's ner An electric current Lire ts for sale by all Newsd Company, Bream’s Buliding, Chancery mauled away at the sam Escolta + TABLE MANNERS THAT YOU'RE NOT GOING WHEN THEY SERVE THINGS Ye AND YOU'LL BE ASKED OUT 01 of the old 8 in Great Bri around the corner of an alleyway, the fire engine had swept by in the direction of a faint ruddy glow that was lighting up the mists which hung above the marshes of Tondo, I, Paul Prior, hastened to fol- low the course of the clanging engine. By the time old paving stones 1 gained the scene, the firemen were fighting the an occupa. flames like heroes, and before an hour had passed and the city, they had conquered the “Ficnd.” As the tired men turned from the place, a horseman came tearing down the street towards them like a thing pos- essed. His graceful form was poved on the of the steed in such a manner as to show th was a rider of exceptional ability, and bis general of a man born to command. He the fire chieftain, threw himself gracefully to the ground, and saluted his superior. The chieftain turned on him and scowled “What do you mean, sir, by coming an hour and twenty minutes late?” “I beg your pardo back bearing was that drew rein before sir, My boy had locked up my medals for the n and it took time to arouse him and array myvelf in a manner becoming an officer and a gentleman.” “Very well!” replied the chief you will wear your medals constantly. not occur again.” —Manita Sun “Hereafter ‘This: must A CHILO THRUST my bands as dirty as that.” ‘ully, to her little efght-year- ou said a mother, old girl tle girl, Times. never xaw reproac : se T never saw you when you were a lit- YOUR GLASS, IT A SIGN . 5» Bveniieg wine ae wioe was the prompt answer.—Glasgow Evening ATE, HATE, NTO DIGS Httle Elsie, “we have to be : “Masia.” sald ving, don't we “Yes, dear.” But I was just thinking, suppose we mize en ced-liver oil !"—Philadetphia Press. very street. knocker, was *cono- Jarred a bell at the fire in, The International News: Lane, London, E.C., England, AGENTS. WILSON WHISKEY has a reputation- going to keep it, The bar whiskey hasn’t. That’s All! too. | Alfred Reisenauer’s Tribute — To THE = PIANOLA WITTE THE METROSTYLE. “TL have heard several mechanical players, and as they all seemed to be in about the same class, 1 demurred about hearing the Pianola, but now that I have heard it and seen that it is capable of producing from the piano the ureatest works written for the piano, not only technically perfect, but with the most delicate and refined expression, my whole aversion has been changed, for I can realize that the Pianola with the Metrostyle is capable of producing results from the pianoforte which are serious and artistic. Please accept my heartiest wishes. ALFRED REISENAUER.” Our Catatog 22, deseriting the Metrostyle, will be sent upon requett. THE AEOLIAN COMPANY, AEOLIAN HALL, 3o2 FIFTH AVE., Ni 20th CENTURY LIMITED 722.22" NEW YORK CENTRAL and LAKE SHORE.