Life — March 10, 1904 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

} RAYNLISS PUPP led the first of the series of dances which took place last evening at the Waldorf- Asto: the patronage of Mrs. Greedy McGreedy, Mrs. Endliss Dollas, Mrs. Goshwotta Pyle and many All, of These are uoder other distinguished ladie course, are society leaders. Mrs. Bullifat Inkum was seen on the Avenue last Tuesday. Her grand- mother on the Wall Street side was one of the New York Pushers. The Pushers are still fashionable. It is rumored that Fuilern A. Goat prefers whiskey to champagne. He comes of an old family. His mother was one of the Boston Heeps. Mrs. Ennyole Figure entertained at dinner last Wednesday. There were twenty guests, all carefally attired and prepared for the worst. Much 3 Ta ape Mrs. James de V. Bailion ts one of the gay young brides of Baltimore, whose distinguished husband came very near taking a yellow ribbon at the Maryland Horse Show. “LIP E* conversation, such as it was, oceurred during the meal, Mrs. Blessal Trusts had a tooth filled with gold last month, and she likes it so much that she is having the house and sta- ble filled with the same material. Miss Fitsste, only daughter of Mr. Bulitfat Inkum, 1s a charming society belle, whose father owns a contro!ling Interest 1a the Fresh Alr Trast, She took her breakfast at home last Monday. Which is the Meanest Rail- road in the United States? $100.00 FOR THE BEST ANSWER. CONDITIONS ceed three hundred words award of the prize brevity tion. No contribution must ¢ in length. In making th sriil be taken Into consi The kalitore of Li he the Judges of the merits contributions, and their decksioa shall be final, ham and address of ompetition ations receive myete for the prize Address all contributions to the Railroad Eaioe of Lire, 17 West 31st Street, New ork. after that Nenwen 6. OF she many mean raitroads int States, the Pueblo & Beolah ado, is the worst, The road is not yet United Col operation, which makes its meanness the more looded and premeditated. Instead of charging #0 much per passencer, this road fixes it# charges by weight. Think of the low-down instivets of railroad men who will let a 243 wizened, wrinkled, old-maid school-teacher ride for less than half the amount paid by a jolly, motberly-looking woman, whose specialty 18 mal ing home happy! Just imagine the perverted nature of the railroad magnates who will make a 200 pound cattleman, who swears ingenuously and whose laugh is good forthe blues, hand over three times the fare of a ttle Ea golf breeches, who can’t swing the weight tor past the 112-pound mark ! It is easy to Imagine what this road is going to do to the fat, good-natured traveling men who have been making Colorado for years, ‘These parveyors of good-fellowship, good cigers and good etories will grow crabbed and irritable, all on account of this unjust railroad’s system of ¢ Hamlet they will go mooning sand around exclaim “Oh, that this too, too solid flesh would melt, ‘Thaw, and resolve itself into a dew, That [ might keep my expense account down, Even ag doth my skinny rival!" And think of the anguish the we machines are going to cause When & young woman, whose tailor-made gown fits *mootbly over a 135-pound form, steps on tothe scales and as only 110 pounds, and five of that exce'sior 1 Clearly the managers of the Pueblo & Beatab Valiey Railroad, who demand sach a Shylock-like accounti every pound of flesh that gos over their line, are in for a Jong and awkward ¢ersion. with the recording angel when their time comes, A.C. ives herself away Noah's Discipline. ne Y our children are so weil be- : haved,’’ said Mrs, Bindad to Mrs. Noah, after the Noah family had established itself on the slopes of Ararat. ‘How do you compel them to act so nicely ?”” “Well,” smiled Mrs, Noah, ever since we made that trip in the ark, all to do is to threaten to take them to the next circus that comes along if they are not good.”” The Proof. ks was now become the third act. “High time,” thought Vatelse, the heroine. “ How it with your heart?’ she accordingly faltered with downcast eyes. For fourteen minutes and his song wa ng Trommel, such that the or- chestra seemed merely to make mo- tions, “Ach, such evasion !"’ exclaimed Ise, with a trace of impatience. Your heart, I s What are your lungs to me?” “This raises the question of motif, of which I know nothing!” whimpered Trommel. comicbooks.com XK