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Life, 1904-03-03 · page 32 of 38

Life — March 3, 1904 — page 32: what you’re looking at

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Life — March 3, 1904 — page 32: Life, 1904-03-03

What you’re looking at

This is primarily an **advertising page** with one satirical poem. The advertisements showcase early 1900s American progress: the "20th Century Limited" train (New York to Chicago in 20 hours—then revolutionary), "Excerpta" coffee makers, luxury hotels, and tourist destinations. The satire appears in the poem **"Disheartened,"** attributed to the Washington Star. It mocks a schoolboy frustrated by geography lessons because maps constantly change due to geopolitical upheaval. The poem references the **Russo-Japanese War** (1904-1905) and territorial disputes in East Asia and Korea, suggesting that traditional education becomes obsolete when international borders shift unpredictably. The boy sarcastically asks: "Why should I study, when the answers always change?" The joke critiques both modern instability and the inadequacy of static textbooks to keep pace with real-world events—a commentary on early 20th-century imperial competition redrawing the world map.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE 20 HOUR TRAIN Between NEW YORK and CHICACO. THE 20th CENTURY LIMITED Over The New York Central-Lake Shore Route. Yes, it makes the time from New York to Chicago and from Chicago to New York in 20 hours, and it does it every day in the year. No other train does this. It is called ** The Busy Man's Train,” ‘* The Time Saver,” “‘ The Space Annibila- tor,” and illustrates the progress in American transportation methods. A copy of our 52-page Illustrated Catalogue of the “Four-Track Series” will be sent free, postpaid, on receipt of a two-cent stamp by George H. Daniels, General Pas- senger Agent, New York PERFECT COFFEE! You can have it, Wherever you are, if you use an “Excerpta” Coffee Pot Delicious coffee made in ONE minute. Simply pour boiling walter through trap and i's ready— clear as wine with a flavor surpassing any you ever drank. Send for particulars HOUSEHOLD MFG. CO., 89 Dun Bldg., Buffalo, N. Y. HOTEL CHAMBERLIN OLD POINT COMFORT, VA. The most magnificent Resort Hotel in America, Open all the year. New Management 1904 FORTRESS MONROE, the largest Mili- tary Post in the United States HAMPTON ROADS, the rendezvous of the North Atlantic Squadron GOLF, TENNIS, SAILING, HUNTING A GREAT GAME PRESERVE OF a 10,000 ACRES —____ Best Shooting of the Rockies from SEPTEMBER to MAY for our two booklets, "* Both Arms of the Service” nd Shooting in the Old Dominion.” FREE. GEO. F. ADAMS, Mgr., Fortress Monroe, Va. New York Office, 289 Fourth Avenue *PHONE, 1749 107M ST. The Yosemite Is the Tourist’s Paradise of California. The points of interest are El Capitan, Three Brothers, Washington Column, Cathe- dral Rocks, The Sentinel, Half Dome, Bridal Veil Falls, Yosemite Falls, Mirror Lake and Cloud's Rest. The Yose- mite Falls are composed of three cascades, the first being 1500 feet. the second 60 and the last 400 fect high. THESE ATTRACTIONS ARE BEST REACHED VIA UNION PACIFIC AND SOUTHERN PACIFIC Sixteen Hours Quicker to San Francisco via Omaha than any other line. E. L. LOMAX,G.P.&T.A. UNION PACIFIC Omaha, Neb. Disheartened. H, Russia’s sending notes with words that end in “off” and *‘viteh.” And Japan is very prompt with its replies. There’s the prospect of a mix-up where you can’t tell which is which ; There are war clouds in the Asiatic skies. And the quaint Corean muses with a melancholy mien, And feels much like a mouse that’s in a trap. He murmurs as he contemplates the Oriental scene: * L wonder what will happen to the map.” And in the Western Hemisphere the silent school- boy sits And scans his book with an expression grim ; He's thinking of the skating rink or fishing or base hits — Geography displays no joys for him. And when he’s learned his lesson, and he hears of doings strange, He is a most discouraged little chap ; He says: ** Why should I study, when the answers always change? They are always doing something to the map!” — Washington Star, THE PRUCENTiAL BEATS ITS RECORD The amount of paid for insurance written by The Prudenttal 1n 1903, namely, 00,000, WAS greater than during any previous year. From 1t annual statement, which ts now published, The Prudential appears in the Brst rank of life Insurance companies, and when we remember that it has been only twenty-eight years in busiiess we wii feel ail the more inter: ested in the methods whereoy such maguificent results were produced. From the moment It started business it has always been in advance of the times as regards Improvements 1 the methods of conducting business. Write to the Home Omce of the Compat wark, N.J., for Information concerning tts polictes. TTPHE spirit of modern life is to plunge into experiences vigorously and get the most from them, This was the spirit that animated the man who preferred tough beefsteak because there was more ** chew to it.” Similarly virile was the attitude of Mr. Skil lings, who had come te town to order a new family carriage. “‘ Now I suppose you want rubber tires?” said the agent. “No, sir,” replied Mr. Skillings. ** My folks ain't that kind. When we're riding we want to know it Youth's Companion, EUROPE IN 1904 A series of attractive tours has been arranged to Italy and Sicily, April 9th France and British Isles, June oth and July 7th North Cape, June 14th Switzerland, June 14th Central Europe and Russia, July 12th Iiustrated Book on Application Other Tours to California, Florida, Mexico, St. Louis Ex: position, Maritime Provinces, Around the World, Cuba, etc. Send for + Travelers’ Condensed Gulde,"* containing satlings and rates of ali rallroad and steamship lines. Raymond & Whitcomb Co. 906 Washington Street Boston 1005 Chestnat Street 2% Union Square New York Westinghouse Building Philadelphia Pittsburg 232 South Clark Street, Chicago comicbooks.com