Life, 1904-03-03 · page 15 of 38
Life — March 3, 1904 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains a humorous naturalist's essay describing an encounter with two moose, one suffering from a toothache. The narrative is satirical in tone—the author presents himself as a "naturalist" who actually borrowed someone's rowboat without permission and steals observations while hiding in trees. The central joke mocks both pseudo-intellectuals claiming naturalist credentials and the sentimental anthropomorphizing of animals. The author claims to still be a "naturalist" despite having no actual job, and the moose narrative becomes increasingly absurd: one moose dentist somehow recognizes the other needs anesthesia and produces medicinal leaves—a scenario clearly invented for comic effect. The illustrations show the moose in distress and relief, supporting the tall-tale nature of the account. Life magazine's satire targets pretentious amateur naturalists and readers' gullibility about such fanciful animal stories, which were apparently common enough to warrant mockery.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
*LIPE* away beyond even my imagination. The young bird shuffled along in a despondent manner toward a piece of buttered toast, which was lying in some big green violet leaves, and stepping gingerly onto this he gave a deep quail- sigh, and lay right down on his back with his feet in the air. You see, he knew what was the proper attitude of a quail, as young as he was. Of course some of the credit was due to the old gran'daddy. The Moose HE MOOSE, or, as it is sometimes improperly called, the Caribbean, is one of the gamiest animals I ever ate, I may mention here that Iam still a natural- ist. A man offered to give me a job cleaning buggies over at the livery stable, but I thought it over and decided to stick to Naturalism a week longer at the least. Allour family have a distinct aversion to carriag other ostentation, so I come by my dislike of it naturally. Iwon't have anything to do with carriages not unless the naturalist busine: picks up a whole lot, anyway. I decided to look up a moose this afternoon, I put my typewriter into my rowboat,—it isn't ex- actly my rowboat; it's a rowboat. I looked carefully around to see if I could find the man who owned it, as I was pulling away from the bank. I would have asked for it if the owner had been there, but he wasn’t. I’m glad, too, for I hate toask for things. It seems to put you under obligations. If people won't come right up to you and slap you on the shoulder and say, ‘I want you to have this rowboat, old man !’"—then don’t whine around and a for it. Of course it simplifies it to a deg you don’t see any one toask. I rowed around tho lake for hours and saw no meese (ge plural for goose, so I guess meese is all right), when on the right bank, through the brown leaves of the evergreens, I caught a glimpse of. several pairs of antlers, and I quietly turned in toward the shore and climbed up into the branches of a large tree, and peering down saw this remarkable scene : Lying on his side, on the pine-needles, was a two-year-old bull moose snorting in agony with a toothache, It might have been a twelve-year- ol molar, only the moose was evidently not more than two years old by the black rings about his neck—a ring for every year. The correct age of meese can always be told this way. An- other moose standing over him was trying to sand seis Slarge A large branch of evergreen between his lathe the offending tooth out with a branch of bis antlers, y time he gave a hoist the poor sufferer wonld > thi danger of being Finally the dentist gave up in despair, and stood glaring about the woods with his fierce black eyes, Suddenly a (tin t it shook the tree Iwas in. I was in constant n down onto those ugly antlen change came over his muzzle—an idea seemed to strike him. I really detected a smile on his grotesque mouth, He wheeled and rushed off through the trees with a trumpeting sound. Presently he reappeared carrying some pe- caliar leaves in his mouth. I was of a quiver with interest by now and nearly fell into my old habit of anticipating, but restrained myself, for what did this dumb dental sur- geon do but walk up to the moose with the bad tooth, who was groaning and kicking, and shove the leaves up against his nostrils and hold them there until, with a final spasmodic inhalation, the big brate closed his eyes and lay peacefully unconscious, breathing patu- rally. I ought to say that the dentist moose had taken the precaution before applying this anesthetic to prop the other animal's jaw open with a large pine-cone. Now that the patient was unconscious, the dentist in a calm pro- fessional manner again inserted his antler into the open month of the sleeping moose,and working it backward and forward fi pulled out the tooth, which was a big one at that. Was thatall? Nota bitofit. The professional in- stinct asserted itself, and taking a large branch of evergreen between his teeth the dentist slowly waved it back and forth, in a fanning movement, over the other moose’s head until he regained consciousness and scrambled to his feet, a happy and relieved moose ! comicbooks.com