Life, 1904-02-25 · page 14 of 26
Life — February 25, 1904 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical content attacking the Central Railroad of New Jersey through a humorous contest asking readers to identify "the meanest railroad in the United States." The satire mocks the railroad's poor condition, danger to passengers, and amphibious incompetence—the text jokes that engines have "developed amphibious habits" due to the line's poorly-chosen route along the shore. The second article, "The Charmers," satirizes a rivalry between two women's patriotic societies: the Colonial Dames (described mockingly as descendants of Tory ancestors) and the Daughters of the American Revolution (portrayed as more legitimately patriotic). Senator Brackett's remarks create tension by implying the Colonial Dames' patriotism is suspect. The cartoon depicts a donkey labeled "I REPRESENT THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY," likely suggesting Democratic involvement in the dispute or commenting on the parties' broader foolishness. The acrostic poem at top appears to be separate literary content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
184 Acrostic. ET others toot their | et others crack their j ros of praise, s of doug! ight wins prai how I Usdimes tocents, whe -Licipient rivals hi [Per merit Vike ustian ©: EB ndure till Time, which never baulks, nslave thy Kings ot sketeh and rhyme. M. Greene. 1 He Which Is the Meanest Rail- road in the United States? $100.00 FOR THE BEST ANSWER. cuxpimioss No contribution must exceod three hundred words tn length. in making the award of the prize brevity Will be taken into ¢ The ta a1 will they be m petitic close March 15, 1804, and no contrivutions recetved after that date will be entitled to compete for the prize Address all contributions to the Railroad Editor of Lire, 17 West 31st Street, New York. Number 4. pee State of N. for its Re y is celebrated ssociations and w Jerse: lutionary its historical r are Mollie Pitcher’s well, the site of Cooper's Water Witch,” and the Central Railroad of New Jersey, the last named being in a poor state of preservation and considered dangerous to visit. Among the prized heirlooms of the company ferryboat engines, designed by Robert Ful- ar used by Washing- ton as headquarters at the battle of Mon- mouth. Here one may still see the havoc played by British bullets and the blood stains on the seats, although, if the truth were told, the latter are probably of more fe. In addition to these historical Utractions there ing scientific tacts connected with the road. Having been laid out before the interior of the State was explored, the right of way fol- lows theshore, and the engines have gradual- ly developed amphibious habits which not only confirm Darwin's theories but add variety tothe trip. Winter is said to be the best season for travel, as the cold prevents hot boxes and the mosquitoes do not then pune- us, Among the re the nd the smoking: recent di re some highly ntere ture the boilers. This, however, is mere hearsay, as, th winter and the natives being hibernating animals, no one travels. At one time con- siderable fear was expressed that the lack of reverence for autiquity, o characteristic of America, might invade even the directorate resorts ocing closed in ‘LIFE: of the Jersey Central. It seems that through some clerical error more bonds were sold than wer e necessary to pay the annual dividend on the stock, and it was suggested that the surplus thus acquired be devoted to impairing the historical uecursey of the equipment, Fortunately, so many meetings were held to settle the dispute that the money was entirely dissipated in directors As 1 am oceasic ally forced, when in search of local color for historical romances, to adventure upon this 1, I beg leave, for 1 reas praden to remain incognito, and sign my Antiquarian. The Charmers. ADIES’ day at Albany, and great goings-on over the Morris Mansion! Lire fears that enator Brackett. may have hurt the feelings of the Colonial Dames— although touching a responsive chord in some other hearts—when he said: © Mr. President, there is ascrap on between the Coloutal Dames, numbering some three-bundred: ‘odd women, who, Lat told, atfect the cultivation of the spirit of patriotism by recounting the deeds and preserving the relics of thet Tory ancestors, and a society known as the Daughters of the American Revolution, numbering some forty thousand patriotic women. who are de- scendants of the men who fought and bied for our country, and who carried common fitntlock muskets in Revolutionary battles. They glory in preserving the relics of those common men who fought and gained for us our Independence. +The Daughters,” he continu d, * preserve the relics of patriots, not of Tories, They bave planned and worked, aud have done almost everything, except to fight and bleed, to secure Possession of the Morris Mansion, They bave Virtually been 1a possession for five years. They have succeeded in getting the City of New York to buy it, and now, after all bas teen done, the jontal Dames expect to step In and pluck the flowers from the plant that has been so carefully nurtured by the Daughters.” And yet the Dames secured the building. What was their pull? Were they handsomer women than the Daughters? Were they more expert as hypnotizers? Or does it simply mean that plain old-fashioned patriotism is a ‘back number ’'? A Refuge. “y THAT was your business on earth?” asked St. Peter. “Oh, I had no business on earth after I got married; that's why I sneaked up here,”’ replied the shade of Mr. Henpeque. Rimes at Different Times, ieeell ‘Teddy, S| Rough and Ready mil Teddy, (Strong and steady { Teddy, (Mot and heady Mayor McClellan. [)ISCUSSING Mayor McClellan as a Princeton man, and dispara- ging him somewhat 1903 that special ch of his development, the Prince ton Jiger declares its objection to any one who forgets that he ever went to Princeton, “and who, when through his Princeton alumniship he has had a chance to ally himself with at least one decent course and some decent people, fails to do so0."" Tut, tut! here should be more toleration between tigers. Give the Mayor credit for allying himself with one of the two admirable Princeton men in Mayor Low's cabinet, M John McG jor w Woodbury, the Street Cleaning Commissioner. ‘The other v as Gas Commissioner Colonel R. G. Monroe. We wish he had him too. if he had, New York might perhaps have less reason to grumble about its gas. There are great possibilities in Mayor McClellan. He is young yet. The Tiger might do well to hedge a bit on its opinion of him. He is trying to be a good Mayor. If he succeeds Princeton had better claim him. There “REPRESENT THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY. Wd B ne comicbooks.com