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Life, 1904-02-25 · page 12 of 26

Life — February 25, 1904 — page 12: what you’re looking at

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Life — February 25, 1904 — page 12: Life, 1904-02-25

What you’re looking at

This page presents three cartoon vignettes satirizing modern life through dialogue, titled "Life's Modern Primer." **The Doctor** (left): Mocks medical practice—a doctor arriving to treat schoolchildren, suggesting doctors profit from minor illnesses rather than preventing serious disease. **The Man and the Ticker** (center): Satirizes stock market obsession. A man compulsively checks a stock ticker machine, so absorbed by financial speculation he cannot rest or find happiness, even jumping excitedly at price movements. **The Dinner Party** (right): Ridicules social pretension. Wealthy hosts throw expensive dinner parties as status displays despite their unhappiness, with guests making superficial conversation. The overall satire critiques early 20th-century American culture: medical commercialism, speculative capitalism, and wealthy society's empty materialism masquerading as sophistication.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

W Hat is this pretty sight before us? Oh, E know. It ix a school room, The scholars are seated in rows. How nice they look. How Hello, who is he looks as if he owned the whole Yes, he He has come with pntials from the Board of Health. » how businesslike he is. Look at him as he takes out his instruments. Why, he is going to vaccinate all the children, isn’t he? Yes, that is just what be is going todo. Does the doc. tor get paid for it? Oh, sure he does. But that isn’t what makes him seem 80 well pleased with himself. What is it, Lwonder? It is because the doctor knows he is doing such a good deed He is working for Medical Science, and that is a great thing for a doctor to do. But will the children recover? We do not know. We think they will, Not all will have blood-poison- ing. Some will be sick for three weeks, some for two months, and some fora year. Perhaps one or two will feel the doctor's scratch all their nd now see the children. as they did. fresh their faces are this man coming? Why is the doctor. lives. They do not look so hap} No, they are not. They do not like it. Bat then children do not know it all. Only Medical Science knows it all. Ah, now the doctor is smiling. He is almost through. He has done a good day's work. Wouldn't you like to be a doctor, and do all that to little children? _ “ QADIE married the President of 2 the Electric Trust, didn’t she ?’" “Yes. And her marriage was a great shock to every one.” LIFE’S THE MAN Ast Tene OOK at the man jump apand down! ~ He seems to be excited. Yes, he is , 1. He a noise. Look over there, and yon will see where the noise comes from, The man is in his office, and he is listening to the ticker. What ix the ticker? Oh, that is a little machine to show how much money you can lose in a given time. See the man jump. He walks to his desk and then back to the ticker. Is he happy? Oh, no, he is too restless to be happy. He could not read a book if he tried to. He could not sit still ina forest to save his life. But then, the man is not try ing to behappy. He is trying to make money. And will he sneceed? Oh, yes, the man will succeed. He will make mouey hand over fist—almost as fast as he loses it. the ticker reel off the nice white paper. See the man jump. Isn't it funny how much exer- cise he gets? How nervous he is. He has been at it so long now that he could not do anything else if he tried. Isn't it nice to know how to do one thing? Don't you wish you were the man at the ticker? Oh my, what was that bang? Why, I declare if the man hasn't shot himself. How funny! Perhaps the ticker didn’t tick right. Well, never mind. It is all in a life- time. W ILLIE: Pa, was George Wash- ington such a terrible liar? Stunson: Liar! Why, my boy, what do you mean? “Well, if he wasn't, why was such a fuss made when he told the trath?"” Pret i a Cpt Ope MODERN PRIMER. He HINSne PaneY [-[ BRE we have a dinner party. itting around the table. How unhappy they look What do you suppose makes them so unhappy? Perhaps it is the food. Perhaps it iseach other. Who knows? I will tell you what the matter is. This is a Fashionable Dinner Party, and there is nothing doit Millions are represented, but there is nothing in it. How sad! See the hostess She smiles that way by long c By and by she will nd then all the women will go into one room and the men into another, Will that help matters? Oh, yes, that will help matters great Then the men will tell fanny stories and langh, and the women will chatter. Can any one wiv dinner party like this? Oh. no. Dinner parties cost money. Why, this one cost nearly five hundred dollars. That is a lot, isn’t it? But it is neces- sary to pay one’s social debts. Hello, they are going home. Now they are gone, Can youcatch what the host is saying to the hostess? Oh, yes, Ican catch it. It is an awful bad word. He “ What a d—d bore! I'm so glad it is over!" YER: How do you know he is honest? Dvuet_: He declined a position in the Post Office Department. Going the Rounds. \[ IRANDA: Laccepted Mr. Mash = leigh last night, and he is going to get the engagement ring to-day. Muniet: Oh, he already has it. I returned to him this morning the one he gave me. re the people ] ] |