Life, 1904-02-11 · page 9 of 20
Life — February 11, 1904 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical advice from "Tom Mason" addressing animals about their conduct toward humans. The central illustration shows a gnome-like figure offering guidance—a common Life magazine device using whimsy to deliver social commentary. The main cartoon depicts a man being chased or confronted by a dog, with dialogue suggesting the dog should not be cruel or "unsportsmanlike" to humans. The satire inverts the typical relationship: rather than warning humans about animal behavior, it humorously advises animals to treat humans decently, implying humans often deserve criticism for their own bad behavior. The page also includes "Opposites" (a romantic dialogue) and "To Myrtilla" (poetry). The overall tone uses anthropomorphized animals to satirize human conduct—a common early 20th-century Life magazine approach to social criticism.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
IEE Advice to Animals. BE kind to man. He needs your love and friendship. When you meet one, take off your own coat and give it to him. He needs it more than you do. Do not track him, or try to bite him, or 7 needlessly kill him, / Remember that he is only a poor dumb creature, and this is not sportsmanlike. When necessary, share your haunts with him, and your supper. Do not attempt to ‘eat him, You can get just as much nour- ishment ont of vegetables as out of man. Besides, man is unwholesome. He is an ac- quired taste. Do not, even in your moments of playful- "/ ness, attempt to annoy or tease man. He =; has almost as much right to be here as you ~ have. Besides, you must remember that any practice of this sort reacts upon your own character. When you per- mit yourself to become needlessly cruel and wanton, you begin to de- teriorate mentally and morally. Remember, if you should persist in this course, you might become no better than man is himself. Only in this way can you retain your superiority. Tom Masson, Opposites. HAVE carefully studied the matter, and it seems to me that we are fitted for each other.” She gazed up at him with her large, dark eyes. “ Explain yourself,"” she said. “Simply this,” he replied,“ look- ing at the matter as we should, in the strictly scientific sense of the word. You are light, and I am dark. You are short, and I am tall. You are sprightly, vivacious. I am “THIS 18 A PRETTY TIME TO BE MOFPIN’ AROUND, EXPRESSIN' YOUR sonnen, manta! somewhat sober and phlegmatic. In fact, we are opposites, and op- posites should marry."” “Yes,” she said, “ opposites ex- cept in one respect, but that is enough. I cannot marry you.” “In what respect do you mean?” he asked, almost fiercely. She smiled. “You are like me in this,’ she said. “I never could earn my own living.” WHEN TOU SAW T WAS PALLIN', WHY IN THUNDER DIDN'T You catcn ME?" MYnTILA. To Myrtilla. (WITH APOLOGIES To FELIX CARMEN.) [PAR GIRL, to show how clever I'm 4A Atiilts of lyric swit These little songs I sing You'll notice, dear, how I toss this tender (Because it fills most easily My purse !) With triple rhymes and double ones I make these “joyous strains,” Because they least will trouble one's Facility or brains ; Mine be not the discredit or The blame, for (must I say 2), I do it for Lire’s editor And pa Myrtilla (note how lyrical A name—'twill make a hit), Pray cease your scorn satirical And smile on mea bit! You laugh and lightly come to me, I greet you with a kiss! (Lire pays a tidy sum to me For this.) comicbooks.com