Life — January 14, 1904 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

_— Be eu oi Heart to Heart Talks. By a Str NOTE: This department has been opened for the benefit of our younger readers, all of whom, we feel sure, are anrtous to grow up into successful men and women. It will be conducted each week by a different person—sme one who has become prominent and who is qualified (0 give adcice in his own fll. We cannot begin to tell our young readers how glad and proud we are to be in Vis humble manner the moral agent through which #9 much good advice will go forth to our miltion readers, but if as many new subscribers come in as we hope and pray, then we shall indeed feet as tf our work had not been in vain, Nvous GexTLEMAN Dear Children : Of all the great men who have come before you to give you their advice and tell you what to do to succeed, I know you would much rather be me than any one else, because I know how to kill bears. Yes, little boys, I can kill bears to beat the band, but I haven't yet learned to ride the elephant. That isn’t my fault, how: I've been all my life learning how to kill bears, but I haven't been riding the elephant long enough yet to feel quite easy in my seat. That isn’t my fault, cither, The trouble is with the elephavt. Does any litle boy or girl know what an incubus is? Well, I must tell you, An incubus is any- thing that weighs you down. Now the elephant I am riding has several in- cubnses. It has a great big octopus for one thing. Ha ou ever seen an octopus? Well, then, you have missed it. An octopus is an animal with a bag of money in the middle, and its a are made of steel rails, and it has them, too, to go right around the elephar Suppose you were trying to ride, with a thing like that in your way. Say, my dearies, wouldn’t it jar you? And the worst of it is, it isn’t my faule. It’s bad enougii (isn’t 12) to ride a plain, wicked. foxy elephant, who, though he’s still young ar vi rough of brows, has to be pensioned, but when you have to ride an elephant and an you think that would be a strenuous job? Yet [like it so well, that I just hate to give it up. Perhaps [won't bave to, after all, Can any little boy or girl tell me? Ido want to know. One of the beau of living in a free country like this, where it is always possible for every one ropus, too, don't Z Yi to make enough to pay twice as much for every- We thing as it is worth, and where votes command if such prices that even a lazy man can live, is that ‘ every little boy who stands before me may one f uy be President i Think of it, little boys, and smile with me. f Some day when you grow up and have children, reporters may be standing over them day and night, taking their temperature and pulse, and telegraphing the glad news to the Pacific Coast. But, of course, you n not all learn to ride the elephant. Sometimes it’s a donkey, you know. The only real difference between the elephant and the donkey is that the donkey brays, while the elephant pre Now, my dear young friends, I am not going * You may not ait learn to ride the elephant. comicbooks.com