Life — January 14, 1904 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN ELOQUENT OBJECTION Mrs, NeWLyniessep: But you certainly doa object to such a wee little baby as that? Janitor: Oh, it ain't the size as counts, mur —it's the principle uv the thing.—Judge. Be silent sometimes, even when you are right —Schoolmaster IF YOU WANT @ perfect cream, preserved without sugar, order Borden's Peerless Brand Evaporated Cream. Pre pared by Borden's Condensed Milk Co, AccorDixc to The Clinton (Mo.) Herald, the following notice was recently found tacked on the door of a local church: “There will be preaching fn this house a week from next Wednesday, Provi- dence permittin', and there will be preaching whether or no on Monday following upon the sub- fect, ‘He that belleveth and 1s baptized shall be saved, and he that believeth not shall be damned at 3.30 in the afternoon.’ Tux Sorta rox Hoseiratiry ; The Manor, Asbeville | North Carolina, is the best Inn § Mns. SupuRBAN: There goes Mrs. Tougbman Is she in mourning for her late husband? Mrs. Kyowit: No; wearing black fo: bim.—Cincinnati Times-Star. Witp turkess are to be found tn great numbers on the Hotel Chamberiin Game Preserves, on the peninsula near Jamestown, and visiting sportsmen are having great luck, No section of Virginta 1s #o rich in this magnificent game bird as the section embraced by the Game Preserve of the Chamberiin, “W. B. Yeats, the English poet, got off a good | thing when he was at the Franklin Ina for lunch, the other day,” raid the literary man, “Of course, he's all for art for art's sake, but he told of a woman ‘who once sald to Marton Crawford, the novelist : "Have you ever written anything that will live after you have gone? "Madam," Crawford replied, “what I am trying to do Is to write something that will enable me to live while I am here,"""—Philadelphia Press. HOTEL VENDOME, BOSTON. | The {deal hotel of America for permanent and transient guests, Uxcte Ezra says that kissing will remove paint.—Schoolmaster. “Wat made her faint?” asked the sympathetic old lady, | replied the sour-faced misogynist, | “there was a good-looking young man standing right bebind her. Town and Country. To please our patrons, the American public, is our Cook's Imperial Extra Dry Champagnes Yt has “Ir is ber proud boast that she bas never heard an opera in her life.” “You must be mistaken. She isn’t a Puritan at all, but quite a gay society girl.” “That's just it. Sbo never goes to the opera except as one of a box-party.""—Philadelphia Press. You look better, feel better, are better when your run down system is invigorated with Abbott's, the Original Angostura Bitters. At draggists. MAN DressmaKer: Well, what now? Apprentice: I bave discovered a way to make a woman's dress so that she will lock like a hump- backed baboon with bat's wings. “Glorious! It will become the rage."—New York Weekly. “ETRE - Beer Keeps One Well It is a noticeable fact that those who brew beer, and who drink what they want of it, are usually healthy men. You find no dyspeptics among them, no nervous wrecks, no wasted, fatless men. And so in those countries where beer is the national beverage. The reason is that beer is healthful. The malt and the hops are nerve foods. And the habit of drinking it keeps the body supplied with fluid to flush out the waste. The weak, the nervous and sleepless must have it. Why isn’t it better to drink it now, and keep from becoming so? But drink pure beer—Schlitz Beer. There isn’t enough good in impure beer to balance the harm in it. Ask for the Brewery Bottling. Special and unique decorations are promised for the Grand Ball Room and the Astor Gallery and Reception Rooms of the Waldorf-Astoria on the occasion of the Fifth Annual Banquet of the Automobile Club of America, January Twenty-third. This dinner has attracted men of national prominence from all over the country, and promises to be one of the most successful events of the year. Mr. James B. Dill, the well-known Authority on Corporation Law, will be one of the Speakers. Mr. Gage E. Tarbell and Col. Albert A. Pope have also consented to make addresses that evening. It is expected that about five hundred covers will be laid. OLD CROW RYE ardor WHISKEY sour ort 2 vorx. comicbooks.com