Life, 1904-01-07 · page 31 of 36
Life — January 7, 1904 — page 31: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page combines satirical poetry and advertisements typical of *Life* magazine's format. **"A Lucky Man"** (poem by W.E.P. French) satirizes turn-of-the-century health anxiety. It contrasts an ignorant man who ate freely without modern food-safety fears against contemporary readers bombarded by alarming "pure food" advertisements warning of microbes, bacteria, and ptomaines in everyday foods. The satire targets the growing hysteria around germ theory and commercial health-product marketing—suggesting the old way (blissful ignorance) was actually safer than modern neurotic food paranoia. **Side articles** humorously note that steel magnates Carnegie, Phipps, and Frick were unusually short, and that a church's red sanctuary light prompted a joke about marriage as a "danger signal." **Advertisements** for Resinol Soap and Equitable Life Assurance represent the commercial backdrop: products selling security against bodily and financial risks. The page's overall theme: modern life creates invented anxieties that advertisers exploit, while satirizing both germ-panic and the commercial response to it.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A Lucky Man. N the good old times lived a lucky man Who boarded himself on a simple plan— At least in his salad-d: His meals were ready, foul weather or fine ; And when he was hungry he went to dine, Untroubled by means or w He'd never been told of the microbes sinall ‘That wriggle and wiggle and creep and crawl In all things consumed by man, r had learned that bacilli bold ing to fasten with bull-dog hold On our vitals when they can, No doctor had warned him of ptomains, or The bacteria vile that swarm galore In the cup that merely cheers. Nobody had told him what drinks to shun, ‘That coffee’s a snare of the evil one, And that bugs infest all beers. No rumor had reached him that meat's a fad, That fish is a danger and fowl's as bad, ‘That pie should be draped with crape. No hint had he that the juice of the cow Is alive with beasties that don’t allow ‘A guilty man to escape. He never had dreamed of the grewsome things With teeth, beaks, claws and most poisonous stin| That dwell in the deadly ham ; Nor had he surmised that the typhoid germ In the oyster’s innards delights to squirm, Or that death lurks in the clam, “pure food ” ads. No journals of health and no Ever seared him silly Or told him, * Unee Of our shredded thistle “Stop the grazir “Try Balaam’s bran mash— * > 8 Voor, ignorant, unhygienic lad! You didn’t know what an escape you'd had When you dined with ox and ass. And, Nebuchadnezzar, be glad inside ‘That sterilized health-foods you never tried or ate predigested grass. W. EL P. French. NDREW CARNEGIE is only a few inches oa above five feet in height. Henry W. Phipps, his old partner, is not an inch taller, and Joho Walker, the other member of the trio who revolutionized the manufacture of stecl, has per- haps a little the better of both Carnegie and Phipps. As for Henry C. Frick, his head would just about reach to the shoulder of a man of or- dinary height, It is said that one day, when these four stcel masters were walking together on the streets of Pittsburg, a bootblack called out to his business rival further down the block, as the millionaires passed: ‘Eh, Jimmy, git onto der runts !"—Argonaut. A Danger Signal. T a wedding in a church, noticing the dim a religious red light that burns over the chancel, Teddy asked his bachelor uncle, ‘Is that a danger signal, Uncle Tom ?” and Uncle Tom, who is suspected of hovering on the brink of @ proposal, was heard to reply, * Yes,"— It does not require much time or trouble to apply the test— Resinol Soap | Best for scalp; best for toilet, bath, y. A derivativeofthe famousskin nent—Kesinol. Soldevery where, lcan be found almost every- Bample Free. RESINOL CHEMICAL COMPANY, where. The proof of superiority is in every bottle. Lippincott’s Magazine. THE RY BHY FOUNDER TN JW ALEXANDER & J.HHYDE yatsions TRS vit rarer WOR) Dad | JANUARY | T ppsessseeny | O F 2 | ' events is sure—death or old age. mm An adequate Endowment policy in the Equitable will make pro vision against both. [t will protect your family if you die - or yourself —if you live. Nowis thelime tomakesuch provision. To morrow may beloolate. Vacancies for men of character lo act as represenlatives Apply lo GAGE E.TARBELL 2*° Vice President For full _information fill out this coupon, or write —$——— ee THE EQUITABLE LIFE ASSURANCE SOCIETY of the United States, 120 Broadway, New York. Dept. No. 27. Please send me information regarding an Endowment for issued at. secceee seeeyears of age. comicbooks.com