Life, 1903-12-24 · page 8 of 20
Life — December 24, 1903 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The top illustration depicts a chaotic street scene with an automobile accident. The caption references "Uncle George" showing his nephew from New York where a cousin was hit by a car, locating the accident near a grandfather's house and an ambulance surgeon's office—satirizing how accidents were becoming common urban hazards in the early automobile era. Below are three brief humorous anecdotes: 1. **"Encouragement"**: A father reassures his downcast son about life's possibilities, emphasizing modern education. 2. **"All Off"**: A joke about a university professor's son who disappoints expectations by failing to become a Brigadier-General, having only graduated from West Point. 3. **"A Modest Young Man"**: Satire about propriety—a young man insists on dressing turkey properly rather than serving it undressed, valuing etiquette over practicality. These pieces mock contemporary social pretensions and changing American life.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Uncle George (showing his nephew New York): HERE, ROLLO, 18 WHERE YOUR COUSIN WILLIE WAS RUN OVER BY AN AUTOMOBILE. Down MERE A LITTLE YANTUER 18 WHERE YOUR GRANDFATHER'S HOUSE STOOD BEFORE THE EXPLOSION, AND THIS CORNER 18 THE SPOT WHERE YOUR POOR DEAR MOTHER MET HER PATE TUNOUGH THE INDIFFERENCE OF AN AMBULANCE SURGEON. Encouragement. Y boy, why co sad?" The kindly father, as he spoke, laid his hand on his son's shoulder, as he bent over his desk at home with downcast face “You are young yet, with all of life before you. Tell me of what you were thinking.” “I was thinking, father,” said the boy, ‘‘of my education. I started at four, if you will remember, in the kindergarten. From thence I went to the primary school. Then I spent four years in the high school. Now I am booked for four years in college. After that, I will take a two years’ supplementary course. Then I shall have to go to Germany for four years, then back again to a special course here. When will it all end?” The father smiled encouragingly. “Have no fear!" he cried. ‘It is true that our modern system of educa- tion is a bit trying, but do not falter. My boy, I firmly believe that by the time you are fifty you will be fully equipped for your life task.” 7, yy, All Off. BEDE : I thought Gadding’s pro- motion to be a Brigadier-General was a sure thing. Grass: It was, But the President found out he was a graduate of West Point. HE small son of a certain university professor, whose parents are de- servedly popular for their tact and courteons speech, appeared at the home of a fellow-professor and hesitatingly asked Mrs. —— if he might look at the parlor rug. Permission was, of course, granted, and Mrs. —— felt some sur- prise to see the little fellow stoop over the rug and stare silently for some half-minute. He straightened himself up, and, meeting her wondering ex- pression, said triumphantly : “It doesn’t make me sick !”” ITTLE SON: What is the mean- ing of retire, papa? F. It means “' go to bed.” “But I heard Uncle Jake say ho was going to make a fortune and re- tire. Now, how could he make a for- tune before he goes to bed?” SAUD A MODEST YOUNG MAN FROM WATSESSING, WHO INSISTED ON TURKEY WITH DRESSING — “1 MAY BE A PRUDE, BUT TO SERVE THE BIRD NUDE WOULD TO ME BE INTENSELY DISTRESSINO.”* comicbooks.com