Life — December 17, 1903 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

T SEIORS AT WuLlis & Ovr long distance neighbor, the Sul Lake into the church by going down the chimney. One of the ushers threw bis Turkish cigarette into the furnace, however, and the balloonists were killed by the fumes which arese. Fifteen of the younger set lowing : in New York society broke the lock of the coal chute A REAL SOCIETY WEDDING. with a cobblestone, and slid through the chute to (Telepathic Message.) the coal bins below, where they could not see, could hear. Seventy-five longshoremen were to throw them out, which was done after some time had been lost in releasing a stout soclety leader who bad got stuck midway of the chute. A prom!- nent society woman bad a tunnel dug from the docks to the church, and attempted to get Into the chancel in that way, but was foiled by the Honorable Percy Wumpstun, the best man, who garroted her with his tle as soon as her head showed above the urface. A prominent society woman was discovered concealed in the floral decoration about the altar. The head usher killed ber after a desperate hand- to-band struggle by shooting her four t with a revolver. Meantime, the bishops were mantully fighting against odds in their frantic endeavors to consummate the deal between May and the duke. The motion was finally carried by a rising vote, as the duke had been frightened into unconsciousness The bridal party escaped from the mob by disguls- ing themselves as hodcarrlers, and ducking down th back alley, p through a beer xaloon to the next street. The attack on the front door at length brought results. The door was, forced, and the crowd poured in, Women who were unable to get bold of some of the floral decorations, plucked hair out of each others’ beads, and amused themvelves by throwing hymn books through the memorial win dows, The pews went next. The altar was wrenched loose by a pro' society woman, who had it split across her head by a more prominent society woman, who also appeared to want it. All the policemen had been beaten to death ere this, and the soldiers had fled. vo nobody tried to stop the festivities. The Heraid, has been having fun with a recent wedding in high life, as evidenced by the fol- New York, Nov, 10.—Miss May Goblet, only daughter of Mrs. Cutglass Goblet, and one of the richest American heiresses on the market, was turned over to Hank Incas Cur, eighth duke of Ox- blood, to-day. Only 250 invited ts Kot a foot- hold in the church, but the major portion of New York's society women turned out to make the occa- places the en crowded into Fifth Avenue before 900,000—a throng which 8,765 po licemen could not control. The policemen ought to have known better, The wedding itself did not mount to much. It Is the same old story—she bad the price. But there was considerable doing in the streets, Before the service began several prominent oclety women who did not get f y breach in the wall of the church wi nd climbed ropes to the gallery. They were dislodged r being stunned with pick handles. When the ‘arriage containing the bride and her brother drew hear the chureh it was surrounded by women, who trampled the horses to death, stove in the vides of the rig, and dented brother's new bat. Four re ments of Infantry had arrived by this time, and bad cut their way through the crowd to the carriage which wax shoved a far enough to enable the bride to spring inside aay canopy leading tc the chureh door za leading society women burst through the y at this juncture and ducked under the canvas ny of these man- ged to Ket far enough under to have their necks tepped on by the bridal party, which was jogging jong toward the church steps prominent so- clety woman fot her bands under a stone flag and — hop wa chandelier; which:.was; soon defied the efforts of nine policemen to drag ber out tern down and ay as a souvenir. In fifteen by the leg. A hawser was secured, and hy it aid minutes from the conclusion of the ceremony nothing she was jarred loose. Four prominent society was left of the church but the Iron beams and the women had secured a balloon and attempted to get stone work. The women then dispersed and went home happy. The wedding, it will thus be scen, was the most fmportant society event of the present season. Not long ago W. S. Gilbert, the English hui ist, was so unfortunate as to lose his umbrella wh dining at the well-known Carlton Club in Loadon, of ich he has long been a member. In a rai waggish mood the librettist caused the following notice of his loss to be posted in the “The nobleman who took the undersigned’s umbrella will confer a great favor on Mr. Gilbert by tcaving it (the umbrella) with the clerk of this club.” When a friend remonstrated with Mr. Gilbert, saying that be thought it was a gratuitous affront, aad asked why Mr. Gilbert should assume that a nobie- man bad taken the umbrella, the witty Gilbert ex- claimed: “Oh! according to the first article of the club's rules, its membership ‘is composed of noble- men and gentlemen.’ And, since the person who took my umbrella ts certainly not a gentleman, it follows that be must be a nobleman."—Argonaut A YOUNG woman, at a country house party oue Christmas, been thrilled with delicious bor- rors by tales of ghosts and hobgoblins told by tain of her fellow-guests about a generous fire just before they separated for the night morning she appeared at the breakfast table for departure, and, when pressed to explain reason for going, finally confessed that she was afraid to sleep under that roof another night said that about midnight she was awakened by a stealthy step, and to her horror saw a spectre, a in white, at the foot of her bed, and it raised its claw-like hands and actually drew the coverlid off the bed. There was no hallucination about it, for the covertid was gone! While the interest was at its height, a belated breaktaster appeared and remarked gentally: How cold it was last night! Knowing that he room next to mine was unoccupted, T took tbe liverty of helping myself to an extra covering from there !"—Country Life in America, PR Is for sale by alers In Great Britain, The Internattc Company, Bream’s Bulldir ¥ Lane, London, E.C., Engl IF GENUINE Always the Same! (5 LOOK-FOR THEMAME > That’s All! Bae THE WILSON DISTILLING Co. nd, 1 AGENTS. THE NAME IS EVERYTHING.” Esterbrook MULTZ ON Counselor’s No. 688. — LUMinemat wares Saco 1 <) OF ABSOLUTE PURITY. Will please all who like NY ARTIFICIAL, CARBONIC, Baltimore, Md. A The Standard for —- 40 Years 420-444 Fievt Ae, PROGRESS MAPLEWOOD A Sanatorium established Te 249 Mado, Nea® CINCINNATI. and medical MINING Contains reliable Information about Mining. 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