Life — December 10, 1903 — page 36: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LUPE * Hans Pickel’s Advice. W US feerst I married mein Ka- treen, Some tventy years ago, She vas as pooty as a qveen Upon a cameo. She vas a schlender, kraceful girl, Mit liddle tanzend feet, Undt von gomplexion joost like pearl :— Ach, Himmel, van't she schveet! She vore her front hair in a pang— ‘'T vas tick, undt soft, undt fine; Undt den her woice venn oudt she sang Vent to mein head like wine. She vas so schentle in her vays It filled me mit delight Der fire of Love burned mit a blaze Dot made mein heart all bright! But now how she has schanged aboudt As time has vent along! Tier pack is vide, her vaist is schtoudt, Her woice has lost her song. Undt den she schalds me night undt day ; Her vishes I can't suit; I tink I'd like to run avay! Der rift vas in der lute! Vat vas der madder? I can’t dell! Whose fault vas it? Who knows Vy Himmel has been schanged to Hell, Vy Love's varm fife is froze? It seems to pe der vay of life— Some discipline is meant Dot toil undt schtrife come mit a vife— So dond’t git married, freindt! Nathan Haskell Dole. R. NOLAN had received a long tongue- lashing from Mr. Quigley, and his friends were urging on him the wisdom of vindicating his honor by a prompt use of his fists. “But he’s more than me equal,” said Mr. Nolan, dubiously, “and look at the size of him.” “Sure, and you don't want folks to be say- ing Terry Nolan is a coward?” demanded a reproachful friend. “Well, I dunno,” and Mr. Nolan gazed mournfully about him. “I'd rather that than to have them saying day afther to-morrow, ‘How natural Terry looks!'” —Youth's Companion. “Op friends are best’—a particularly appro- priate truism when applied to the world-famous Williams’ Shaving Soap, which has held first place in the toilet requisites of fastidious men for more than half a century. In its purity, delicate perfume and superabundance of rich, creamy lather, it stands without a peer, If you shave yourself and have not tried it, you have a delightful experience coming. Ack for “Williams’ Shaving Stick” In metal case. For sale everywhere. ORD CURZON has been long noted for his penchant for making cutting and cold remarks. Some years ago, says the rail- way official who tells the story, Lord Curzon came down from London by what was then the London, Chatham and Dover railway, to address a political meeting at one of the Kent coast resorts. Lord Curzon was in a hurry. The train made its twenty miles an hour all right, but the future viceroy thought it the slowest train on earth. He said so to the guard. That dignitary, as usual, took the remark as a personal insult. “If you don’t like the speed of this train, mister,” he said, “you can get out and walk!" Lord Curzon was not crushed. vinegar came the reply: “IT would, only they don’t expect me till this train gets in!” —Answers. D*®. CHARLES PARKHURST, of New York, believes in people saying just what they mean, and says he has a horror of footnotes. “Whenever I see a footnote,” he says, “I am always reminded of a certain Presbyterian church meeting. One statute drawn up pertained to the love of the Al mighty, and it was stated in the rigid, old. fashioned Presbyterian style, with more of sternness than love in it. One of the more gentle Presbyterian brethren suggested that a footnote be added, mitigating somewhat the harsher statement. Then up jumped the Rev. Dr, Howard Crosby. ‘I object, gentle. men,’ he said. ‘I will not have che love of God put in a footnote.’ " —New York Tribune. Early. Beiccs: Aren’t you tired of these ama- teur theatricals? Geiccs: Not much! I haven't kissed every girl in the neighborhood yet. Tart as “VIYELLA” ED. THE NEAREST APPROACH EVER KNOWN TO THE LIVING VIOLET 1 oz. bottle, $2.00 2 oz. bottle, $4.00 1 POUND BOTTLE, 2... Or if not obtainable of your dealer, write to PINAUD’S LATEST EXQUISITE VIOLET PERFUME BRISE ; EMBAUMEE VIOLETTE BRISE EMBAUMEE VIOLETTE One Drop diffuses the fr. tance of a BED OF HOTHOUSE VIOLETS SOLD EVERYWHERE 5 oz. bottle, $9.00 12 oz, bottle, $17.50) . $25.00 ‘*VIYELLA"’ CAN BE OBTAINED AT LEADING DRY ED. PINAUD’S AMERICAN OFFICES QOODS STORES IN THE NEW FALL DESIGNS ror 1903-4 Ed, Pinaud Building NEW YorK comicbooks.com