Life — December 10, 1903 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

562 Cass LIFES A Tragic Calendar. (JANET was quite ill one day, Febrile troubles came her way. Martyr-like she lay in bed, Aproned nurses softly sped. * Maybe,” said the leech, judicial, ** Junket would be beneficial.” Juleps, too, though freely tried, Augured ill, for Janet died. Sepulcher was sadly made, Octaves pealed and prayers were said. Novices with many a tear Decorated Janet's bier. Carolyn Wells, Anatomical Estimate. E are now in the body of the theatre,” said the first gentle- man, as he led his friends intothe auditorium. ‘ We just passed through the cuticle, if you remember.”’ “ The cuticle?"’ asked the friends. “Yes, the ticket speculators on the pavement.”’ “ But how's that?” ‘Isn't the cuticle the outside skin?" A Divided House. ss O; they didn’t get along very well together ; though she regrets him, now that he is gone.’ “« What seemed to be the trouble?” “Creed difference : she believed in the beauty of holiness; he, in the holiness of beauty.” GIRL in the arms is worth two io the pash. ALWAYS WELCOME, “Now, WHERE DO YOU WANT To Go PinsT?” Maneuvring. HENEVER I try to propose, Medora begins to manceuvre ; ‘The wonderful skill that she shows, Might rightly be called a chef-d'eurre, All topics on which I may dote, If they upon love-land should border, Are banished to regions remote, Aud that in a very short order. I faucy she eyes me in doubt If I speak of some phase of the fashion ; That word, when a rhymer's about, Is very suggestive of “ passion.” She bans every mention of “sweets” With the obdurate air of a grandee, Although she retracts and retreats At the offer of chocolate candy. I'd swear the maid loves me, and yet, For causes both foolish and flimsy, I can’t, to my deepest regret, Persuade her to conquer her whimsy. I think, when I see her again I'll make no attempt to reprove her, But clasp her and kiss her! How then,— How then will Medora manceuvre? Clinton Scollard, Valuable. “TE: I believe you think more of that dog than you do of me. SHE: But he’s worth so much more, T* family hotels they sing it ‘‘ Home, suite home.” Our Experience. E build a castle in the air, In youth's impulsive season ; A place of visions bright and fair, Beyond the bounds of reason. We fill our lives with sordid care Till Fancy's hold relaxes, And find our castles in the air Have all been sold for taxes. MeLandburgh Wilson, Another Remedy. “T°VE got to change my typewriter,”’ said Golds- borough. “T thought she was emi- nently satisfactory,"’ put in Thornton, “She is, but my wife is jeal- ous of her,” “ISN'T THIS A GREAT DAT? 1 BR LIEVE A FELLOW WOULD LIVE & . . MUNDRED YRARS IP BE COULD Mave wife? DAYS LIKS THESE. “WRLL, I GUESS WE'D BETTER DRIVE TO SANTA CLAUS’ NOCRE “Wh é " é AND THANK MIM POR ALL TUB PRESENTS AND ASK Tim TO 'y not ge! another CALL a@arn.”” comicbooks.com