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Life, 1903-12-10 · page 22 of 58

Life — December 10, 1903 — page 22: what you’re looking at

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Life — December 10, 1903 — page 22: Life, 1903-12-10

What you’re looking at

This page presents domestic humor typical of early 20th-century Life magazine. The main story satirizes marital miscommunication: Witherby agonizes over his Christmas gift, finally settling on a check—the "safe" choice—only to have his wife respond with polite disappointment. Her final line delivers the joke: she'd have preferred the *money itself* rather than the sentimental gesture of a personalized check. The satire mocks both his anxiety about gift-giving and her frank materialism disguised as gracious acceptance. The smaller cartoon "Listen to That" features a couple and appears to joke about Long Island Sound versus New York Bay—likely mocking regional pretension or sound quality differences. The "Classified" section offers satirical social commentary on class divisions in marriage eligibility, and a final quip about a Duke marrying an American heiress—suggesting wealthy Americans were marrying into European nobility for status while nobles married Americans for wealth.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

560 The Wrong Thing. i was Christmas morning. Witherby felt keenly, as he came down-stairs, the responsibility of the occasion. For weeks the question of what he should give his wife for Christmas had been a heavy burden to him. He had lingered before jeweler’s windows with a keen sense of his own incompetence. He had endeavored to snatch from Mrs. Witherby’s conversation some hint. Finally, unable to bear the strain any longer, he had come out boldly with,"* Now, d tell me what you really want for Christmas.” And Mrs, Witherby had replied in no uncertain tones, ‘Oh, a lot of things, but please, dear, don’t give me anything I don’t want.” Witherby felt now that he had solved the problem. In his hand was clutched a piece of paper—a hand- some check, payable to Mrs, Wither- by's order. Here there was safety. He came down to the breakfast table, kissed his wife fondly and pressed the paper into her hands. ‘There, dear,"’ he said, “ is a little Christmas gift. A Merry Christmas.” Mrs. Witherby unfolded the paper and looked at itin silence. Then she looked up with an assured smile. “I thank you, dear,” she said, “ it ‘was ever so good of you.’” Witherby gazed at her in astonish- LISTEN TO THAT. “wave you EVER ListeNED To THAT Loxe IsLaND souxp?™ “No, BUT 1 MAE HEARD NEW YoRK Bay.” THE DESIGNER'S NIGHTMARE, ment. The enthusiasm, the rapture, he had expected, was not there, He was conscious of having done the right thing, and yet something was wrong. “What is it, my dear?’’ he ob- served. ‘You are not pleased, Isn’t the amount satisfactory? What is it?’ His wife looked at him. She smiled again. “Why, yes, dear,”’ she said, “It’s splendid, and awfully good of you, of course, But do you know, I think I would rather have had the money !"” Classified. QTELLA: How would you divide society ? Betta: Well, in the lower classes, you marry an anybody; in the middle a nobody; in the upper classes, a somebody ; and in the smart set, an everybody. “THE Duke married an American girl, did he? Why, I thought he inherited his wealth.’’ “Ob, no. He came by it the usual way.’’ comicbooks.com