Life, 1903-12-10 · page 14 of 58
Life — December 10, 1903 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several humorous sketches and anecdotes typical of early 20th-century American satirical humor: **"Nature's Chef-d'oeuvre"** pairs a portrait sketch with George Gribble's sentimental poem about female beauty as nature's masterpiece. **"Variegated"** jokes about color—a person describes riding in Brown's "Red Devil" with a "blue humorist" and "green chauffeur," ending in a "whitewashed cell" reading a "yellow newspaper." The humor derives from the absurdist color descriptions applied to mundane circumstances. **"Too Bad"** shows a father discovered keeping old Santa Claus costume pieces (coat, pipe, whiskers, boots) in the attic. His son Willie, disappointed, asks if the father is "getting too old to believe in Santa Claus"—ironically reversing the usual parent-child dynamic about childhood belief. The remaining sketches are brief comedic dialogues about classroom conduct (a student negotiating payment), and a guest's humorous refusal to ring a country house's non-functional bell. The page reflects genteel domestic humor aimed at middle-class readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HITE: we BLack * Well Nature’s + Chef-d’ceuvre.”’ T]HE sunbeams came from everywhere And wove their gold to make your hair, The dew that in the violet lies Was gathered up to make your eyes, And by the rose and lily’s grace She made the contour of your face, And for your flesh and blood the flowers Were gathered from a thousand bowers, And gave their petals and their dew— kissed the whole—and then ‘twas You. George Gribble, Variegated. There was no Jack of color in the afternoon put in to-day, : How's that? , Brown took me for a ride in his Red Devil with a blue humorist and a green chauffeur, and we spent the time in a whitewashed cell reading a yellow newspaper, while waiting for him to raise the greenbacks to pay the fine.’* Askin oe Cha, wey y “And then ‘twas You." Too Bad. “DOP, I have been up in the P attic.”” As Willie spoke, he proudly dis- played a package of considerable size that showed plainly its con- tents had been examined. “What's in that?’’ said Slim- son, suspiciously. Willie unrolled the paper, and the contents fell out. There were an old-fashioned coat with a large belt, a beautiful long pipe, a pair of glossy boots, und a set of gor- geous cotton whiskers, “There !”’ said Willie, ‘I found these yesterday, and I've brought them down for you to wear again this year. Will you, pop?” Slimson smiled. He had evi- dently been discovered. “T guess, Willie,” he said at last, ‘‘ that I won’t bother to wear those things this year.’’ His disappointed son turned and gazed at his parent with surprise. **Good gracious, pop!” he ex- claimed, ‘ you don’t mean to say that you are getting too old to believe in a Santa Claus ?”* A Discount for Cash. MES SAINTLY: Now, children, I will give a silver dollar at Christmas to every “boy who has a perfect mark in conduct ! « Brty’’ McGinnis: Say, teacher, I'll take a quarter now, ’n’ call it square! No Discomfort. AN ANTLER (entertaining Witherby at his country home): Now, old man, if you should happen to want anything in the night, just touch this bell. Witnersy: Never! is to keep servants in the country. touching that bell. Van AntLter: But I assure you you are perfectly safe. The bell doesn’t work. I know how hard it Catch me comicbooks.com