Life — December 3, 1903 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

it I, Hanks (excitedly): wwe nes HE Aged Stranger. (With apologies to 1 Br-t I-rte.) “T bought U. said ; ” the e farmer, ‘‘ Say no more! But enter beneath my bumble roof, And forg! thy wealth of yore “Lo! hungry man, here is bread for thee ; ‘Thou may’st make a goodly meal ; es out to my fellow-man ings went into Steel.” “ Twas in Steel,” the man resumed. * Not a word!" the “There be widows galore in this town of ours, Yea, orphans, and many beside armer cried ; “Whose phantom wealth hath assumdd wings, Who late to yachts did aspire ; Yet now at Dennett's their lunch they And their wives do wash for hire.” take, ““T was in Steel,” the stranger said ; Cried the farmer, ‘* Eat thy fill! Think not on thy vanished days of wealth, But share in my humble till. ** So much will I do for Charity. To relieve thy sore distress ; Food will I give thee, and raiment fine, From the little I yet possess.”” WE UMA DEAD MAN. “NOT MUCH, MR. HUNKS! 1 AM THE MAN YoU 1 HUNTER’S TURN. SHOOT “IM, SHOOT ‘IM. SECUTED YOU VIOLATING THY: LAW." ‘The stranger sat at the farmer's board, corned his humble fare ; looked with disdain on the dough- nut fat, And the beefsteak red and rare. “TM none of t And the plat © Treas ii food—'tis fit for tramps n the floor he threw ; Steel, but I sold my stock In the fall of nineteen-two.” The farmer he fired the proud strangdre, And swift on the chest did jump Of that wise old guy, who had sold his Steel Six months before the slump. MCready Sykes. Paucity. JHIRST BOSTONIAN: Did you meet any Americans abroad ? Seconp Bostostan : No, nothing but New Yorkers. THERE are three classes of women : (1.) Women who want to be kissed, (2.) Women who do not want to be kissed. (3.) Women who look as though they would like to be kissed, but won't let men kiss them. The first men kiss, the second they do not kiss, the third they marry. A Paradox. N wealth weds wealth in the game of life, nics it is stated, nt for love, but man and wife Each wish to be cheque-mated. What Was Wanted. ‘ Db? you believe in the inspiration of the Scriptures?’’ The Chairman of the committee ap- pointed by the church to interrogate the clergyman to whom a call might be extended looked at that gentleman critically as he asked his first question, “Ido,” was the firm reply. There was a slight movement among the members of the committee. ‘Do you,” asked the Chairman, ‘believe in preaching the gospel without frills, or would you inject a little spice into your sermons—say, enough to get yourself into the papers?” ‘The clergyman did not falter. “T believe,” he replied, “in the simple gospel—without — sensational- ism.” “ Then, as I understand it,” said the Chairman, “you believe in the old- fashioned theology and all its dogma. Every Sunday you would preach a couple of sermons on the Bible, with- out trying to attract attention, and on week days, instead of getting yourself interviewed by the reporters, you would doubtless spend your time visit- ing the sick.” “That's my whole idea,” was the answer, The Chairman turned to his commit- tee and held a brief consultation. Then once more facing the candidate he said : “I'm sorry to say, sir, that you won't do, We want a man who is right up-to-date."’ Too Much. DVERTISER: You put that last ad. of mine next to reading matter. Don't do it again. Maxacer: Why not? “Well, I’ve just read the reading matter.”” i Da club is a refuge for homeless married men. comicbooks.com