Life, 1903-11-26 · page 7 of 20
Life — November 26, 1903 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate satirical pieces: 1. **"Enhancement"** critiques attaching gasoline motors to football players to strengthen them—absurdist satire on overcommercialization of college sports. 2. **"The System"** mocks Speaker Cannon's defense of the River and Harbor Bill, suggesting corrupt politicians hide their schemes "in the hands of his friends" while claiming respectability. 3. **"The Thespian's Delight"** ridicules an actor's definition of "perfect bliss": smoking expensive cigars while receiving compliments from admirers and female admirers reading favorable reviews. It satirizes theatrical vanity and ego. 4. **"Cavil"** presents a brief dialogue joke about a runaway horse—the daughter complains the man never returned her horse, and he replies he never sent it back either. The page uses humor to critique excess, corruption, and vanity in American society.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Enhancement. OW to strengthen football players by attaching gasoline motors to their principal muscles is a subject that is meeting with ap- proval in centres of learning. By this means, it is conservatively estimated, the num- ber of fatalities would be doubled ; while of those who, under the present manner of play, receive injuries fram which they ultimately re- cover, fully half would be maimed for life. That the increased gate receipts would asily defray the expense of the innovation, no- body doubts who has made any study of the public taste. Query. MEd. £tstteone of the leaders of our aristocracy, ts quoted as saying that the payment of fico militon doliare as @ con sideration, preliminary to the alliance cf an American lady toa British duke, ts @ plece of Sally. Such folly is its own rebuke, So let them pay who can. But if two millions buys a duke, How much would buy a man? The Thespian’s Delight. D like to know your idea of perfect blis Mr. Ranter? “To lie in a hammock, Ssmoking a large, fine cigar given to me by an admirer, and listen to a woman who worships me reading aloud complimentary notices of my acting.” Cavil. “ A BENT you the man who ran = away with my horse?” ‘No, sir. Daughter.” “ Bat you never sent the horse back.” "LLP Es The System. ‘HE persistent rumor that Speaker Can- non purposes doing things to the River and Harbor bill does not necessarily portend an attack upon the fundaments. Constructive amendment, whereby the A PROVIDENT He? 1 THINK I'LL GO AND SPEAK TO YOUR PATUER AT ONCE. MORE THAN KICK ME OUT. 503 coarser aspects of graftocracy are pruned away, is nothing to the detriment of the higher reaches. ‘The system being in the hands of its friends, nothing is likely to be done which will render our prosperity in any appreciable degrve less unexampled. MIND. ME CAN'T Do She > 10 SKEMS A YITY TO RISK IT, DEAR, IX THAT GOOD SUIT. comicbooks.com