Life, 1903-11-19 · page 8 of 22
Life — November 19, 1903 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical "wills" from wealthy industrialists (Rockefeller, Bryan, Morgan, Schwar, Carnegie, Vreeland) humorously bequeathing their fortunes to public causes—a commentary on wealthy philanthropists' actual charitable practices. The illustrations mock domestic and social life: a silhouette shows a couple dining while their cat and dog fight beneath the table, captioned about a husband's turkey-carving anxiety. Below, another cartoon depicts fishing, with dialogue suggesting a boat has mysterious peculiar qualities that "several shades lighter" each visit—likely implying the boat's value depreciates. The "Doctors" section satirizes a dispute between Dr. Parkhurst and Dr. Dowie over money-raising methods, mocking theological disagreements presented as petty squabbling. "Way Up" presents a brief joke about a successful king with many wives—a reference to polygamy or dynasty-building.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Some Wills—As They Ought to Be. ro au people, including the widows and orphans, who were in the oil business and whom I compelled to sell out, I hereby return what I took from them, those Joux D. Rocker All my property, made by me during the pasteight years, which amounts to about half a million, I hereby bequeath to my beloved friend Grover. W.J. Bryan apologies for what has happened in the past, I hereby leave my en- tire fortune to the United J. P. Morcay, If there is anything left when I get through, I hereby bequeath it to Le Roy Dresser to found a shipbuilding trust to my memory. C. M. Scuwan. With due States Government. I bequeath all my money to an institution which shall p itself entirely to the discove of some modest and truly helpful way fora rich man to give away his mone ANDREW CARNE I leave everything I possess to the founding of a dress- ablishment for the proper clothing of needy 3. Hetty Gr All my property, real and personal, I direct to be sold and the proceeds to be divided equally among the 5,000 sengers who have ridden regularly on my surface a slight recompense. H. H. VREELAND. IK, “ AN UNWELCOME TASK. “NOW, BE CAREFUL, GRACE. MAYBE Vara WOULDN'T LIKE TO HAVE YOU CARVE THE TURKEY.” “Ou, YES, IE WOULD. Mk ALWAYS GETS MAD WHEN UE MAS TO bo rt wnesnte.” “SAY, CHARON ! fn noatt WHAT Is / EVEHY TIME YOU COME MACK IT 18 SEVERAL suADEs Doctors. l R. PARKHURST and Dr. Dowie having fallen out, who shall decide? It is pretty bad business, but faith looks ever up. not even the blessed twelve torn by dissensions? As between the pot and the kettle, the likelihood is that neither is absolutely black. Moreover, both ares vessels of election, predestined to useful ends. Tastes differ in spiritual as in bodily food ; some food is better prepared in a pot, and some in a kettle. The intimation that Dr. Dowie has the orthodox doctors faded when it comes to getting money out of people is cruel aud uncalled for. Comparisons are odious. Way Up. “ ] 1 E'S a very successful King, isn’t he?” - ‘Remarkably so. I understand that he has had more wines named after him than anyone else on a throne.” Were comicbooks.com