Life — November 19, 1903 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

488 Stuyvesant Van Rensselaer. tensselaer jut what a fuss they make ! forms the nurse, forms the p page informs the but! Remember Stuyvie's age ') (pray ‘The butler tells the footman, and ‘The footman tells the groom. And the groom he tells the coac (All this concerns just whom ? (AIL this concerns youn, Rensselaer, of coachman tells th Who tends to Stuyvie When theco and thecar nd horse are at the door, Then Si ant Van Ki Goes driving. (He's just four!) Harold Melbourne. A Letter. New York City, Octoner 17, 1903. Dear Sir: I have been a constant reader 1 will pardon On many chman psselaer of Live for years, so I hope this one expression of opinion Ou SONT LES NEIGES DANTAN! old man sighed, * Ab « LIFE subjects I do not agree with your sentiments, but were there a thousand such I should be more than willing to forget them in consider- your opposition to two things. I cannot conceive of anything more cruel an these pructices—that of vivisection, by n who wish to be regarded as benefactors the human race, and that of hunting animals, by men who wish to be regarded What thinking person would maintain that the results of vivisee- compensate in the slightest degre hter of beings that our Cr has endowed with life to fill real y the all-wise plan of Providence? who could honor fora moment with the title of “sportsman” a human being whose chief joy of life is to deprive of that same life the creatures to which have been given no power of retribution, or even of self-de- May the day soon come when these acts may be punished as crimes by the severest penalties, instead of being lauded as valuable contributions to science ation ¢ as true sportsmen. and as “true sportsmanship” by an unthinking Faithful Harry N. Greenfield. people. A. PRUDE is a coquette gone to + seed. Days most drear, Even the Conic Week! Aren't wh ave no fear, ged as they appear. plement : #pare your tear, Jokes of Yester-Year!" CR. Bacon Their Parting. AS the young and beautiful wife stood at the door and started to bid her husband good-by, she put her arms around his neck while a look of painful anxiety came over her face. “ Darling,” she said tenderly, ‘t re- member that it is winter now, and there are nothing but open cars to ride in. Promise me that you will walk.” “I promise,” replied her husband. “And beware of automobiles. Do not cross any street, or you will surely be run over.” “All right, dear.” “And remember, darling, not to eat oysters, Every oyster contains three million horrid germs, and they may all be typhoid.” “Very well, dear. * And oh, darling, have you got on your new sanitary underwear, the kind recommended by our family physician day before yesterday?” “Thave.”” “And while I think of it, dearest, please don’t use the telephone. I heard sterday there isn’t an anti- septic instrument in town.” “All right, I won't ‘* And remember, dear, that when you come back home to-night, remove all your clothes in the vestibule be- fore you enter the house. I heard to-day that scarlet fever, mumps, measles and tonsilitis are in the city air. Think of our children !"° ‘The brave young husband turned and faced his thought- ful wife. “Darling,” he said, ‘do you think I had better go down town at all to-day, in view of the dangers that threaten me? Itis pay day, I know, but is it worth while to run such awful risks for the few paltry dollars that I shall bring home with me?" But his Spartan wife never faltered. dearest,’’ she said. ! Goand earn our daily bread. But, oh, please don’t bring that money home with youuntilit has been thorough- ly sterilized.” Tom Masson. comicbooks.com