Life — October 15, 1903 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE LITTLE BROWN BROTHER, I'm only a common Soldier-man, in the blasted Philippines ; They say I've got Brown Brothers here, but I dunno what it means I like the word Fraternity, but still I draw the line; He may be a brother of William H. Taft, but be ain't no friend of mine. I never bi To keep bii brink; And when my Pal had give it bim, and em his sack, Would take the opportunity to stick him in the back. da brother who would beg to get a drink If from dying when be hovered on the tied out I never had a Boy And bury bim Joy. ‘Then train the Bubonic Rat! hank God, I've got stoop to that! brother who could take a wounded to the armpits, with a most unholy Red Ants cn him, like some caged no brother who would ever ve I a brother who'd commit a nameless dier, lying where he gave up fendisbly a piece of lifeless is prayers the moment that bis passion I'm here I have seen it, so you can’t make game I'd rather be an Orphan than in such a Familee The L. B. B. said, The best one that J ever saw had an overdose of Lead. may sult some folks, but after all is I'm only a common Soldier-man, Philippines ; ‘They say I've got Brown Brothers bere, but I dunno what it means I like the word Fraternity, but still I draw the line; Hoe may bo a brother of William H. Taft, but he ain't no friend of mine. —Robvert F. Morrison, in Manila Sunday Sun. in the blasted One Levée Day, when Lord Salisbury was prime minister, be was in the midst of serious bust- ness up to tho last moment. Ho rushed home, turned cut a large bundle of uniforms, and took the first that came to bis hand, with the astonishing result that he wore a coat that belonged to the Elder Brethren of Trinity House, a deputy-lieutenant’s pair of trousers, and a hat of the’ Royal Archers Even that was not the worst. He wore bis sword on the wrong side and his garter on the wrong side, and things reached their climax in the waistcoat which, dating from an earlier and less robust period of his life, left between it and the trousers what ence called, in the case of another great parlia- “a lucid interval.” wa mentarian, —Argonaut. Ihicr prices often prevail in frontier towns, and those who live in new settlements become ac- customed to the charges and think little about ft. A who recently returned from the Klondike tells a good story “People get man used to paying big money for trifles,” he said, “and two dollars tor a box of sar- dines or five dollars for a pound of bad coffee came to be regarded as reasonable prices. But once [ had the surprise of hearing an unexpectedly low price named. It was like this: I had a jumping toothacke—was ly wild with it—and went to a shanty where I was told there was a dentist. A rough-looking fellow told me that he was the den- Ust, and T asked him to draw my tooth. He looked got his forceps fastened on my tooth, and yanked it out after a couple of bard twists. How much?” I asked. “Well, two dollars, I guess." said the dentist I pald bim, although my jaw still ached badly “That's the cheapest thing I've round here,” Tremarked, as I gave bim the money. “Well,” be sald, "I thought I'd make it low because on account of the bad lght I pulled the wrong tooth.”* I had to go the next day and bave the bad tooth out, and he made matters square by charging me ten dollars.—New York Tribune. me over, seen Mr. Pixs, the recently retired postmaster of the House of Commons, tells a story of his early ex perlences of postal work, a gocd many years ago It was a Lond bra office, and a customer came in and handed a letter over the counter to the young lady who was serving stamps, and who, after read- ing the address, said it would be fi “But I have never paid more than twopence-halfpenny before,” objected the customer. s it over weight?” No, it wasn't over weight, said the clerk, but all letters to China were fivepence, and as this was addressed to Dres Exchange. Live ts for sale by all Company, Bream's Butiding, Chancery ane, London, E.U., England, A THE Established 1823, WILSON WHISKEY, That’s All! WILSON DISTILLING Baltimore, Md. co. Newsdenlers in Great Britain, The International News ENTS. and now always buy Hunter Baltimore AN & The Social Charm In the pride of hospitality the host says: I sought the best Rye For its uniform and refined Quality, Purity, Flavor. N, Baltimore, Md. COOK’S MALTO-RICE. A Pure, Perfectly Cooked Rice Malted. RICE contains more nutriment and supplies more energy to the human that grows out of the ground. body than anything MALT as a marvelously beneficial stimulant man has known for generations, but only yesterday did he learn to combine it to the greatest advantage. COOK’S MALTO-RICE is a perfect blending of Malt and Rice, Portland, Oregon—lIn Four Days fro m New York or Boston—By New York comicbooks.com The Egyptian Cigarette of Quality AROMATIC DELICACY— MILDNESS-— PURITY Central.