Life — September 10, 1903 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

R. AND MRS. M DULLER} DETH quite proud— and very patu- rally—of their son Living- ston. He is not only s} ish, but he al- most took his degree at Harvard this year. He loves Newport. Apropos of Livingston Deth, he is really very talented and a thorough sportsman. He loves nothing better than to drive his automobile, at full speed, throngh the crowded streets of asmall town. Of course, some people object, dontcherknow, to having their children and horses smashed up. But does enjoy it. is a handsome fellow, and as he will inherit about thirty millions he quite a favorite in society, Mrs. Groundfloor Jones says: ‘‘ If God in His mercy doesnot remove him and his automobile soon, the country people are Groundfloor Jones, by the way, adfully old-fashioned in some of her ideas. Just because she happens to know several people who have been POLLY WANT A CRACKER? - LIFE: killed or maimed by these machines, she thinks their speed ought to be restricted, Mrs. Toppother Heep was seen in her new victoria yesterday. She had sev- eral clothes on and seemed to enjoy herself. A Quartette. My dear Miss Smith, rE Moon tame.) She: You oughtn’t,—but sound so pretty ;— Cupid: (They're starting in as usual. Same old game !) or may I (This promises, I fear, to be quite you make it He: The moonlight paints with gold your fairy tresses. (Now wouldn't that just 1 you faint away !) She: Moon: presses ! Cupid: say!) (What idiotic things some people He: Dear, if Lloved you, would you care to know it? (Now that, I rather good.) Shet Moon: must admit, is Oh, if 1 cared,—I'd be too shy to show it. Cupid: (The thought they e doing better than I would !) He: Ab—if I dared—but you're so far above me,— Moon: (Ahem! hind this tree.) She: Love levels all ranks,— He: Do Cupid: I think I'll hide be- e me? (Well. use for me!) now they have no further Carolyn Wells. Graft. NGLAND paying out seven million dollars for a single ship of war is a spectacle which has its dark side, too. Such vast sums spent in world politics lead easily to the neglect of domestic graft. Thus England has no river and har- bor bill. The wonder is that elections are ever carried in favor of civic right- eousness and national honor in Eng- land, With a freer and more enlight- ened people, like us, it would be quite out of the question. Ouly a poet thus his thought ex- © AT Westerman, Papa Pumpkin: stor! you caxtatovrr! Discouraging. OUNG WORSHIPER OF MARS: Well, I have received my ap- pointment to West Point ! Former Scnootmate: Indeed I am sorry for you. Better give it up. You are making the mistake of your life! “Why?” ecause your time will be thrown Far better train yourself to be either a contract doctor or politician. You then might stand a chance of being Lieutenant-General of the United States Army before you're forty.”” The Seven Ages of Hair. AT first the baby’s fuzzy crown, +A. Protected by its cap of down. And then the youngster’s curly mop That's never known the barber's shop. ‘The schoolboy, next, To have a summer * is head must strip No shears the football age profane,— The half-back wears a shag; The first white hairs evoke a sigh : The beau’s convinced that he must dye. Stil vain, though older, he's appalled To note that he is nearly bald. mane. Senile, yet sprightly as a grig, He dons the undeceptive wig. Frank Roe Batchelder, comicbooks.com