Life — September 3, 1903 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘A SONG AGAINST SPEED. Velocity—its praises ring bat those who race may read— The joyousness of burryin The ecatasles of speed Yet, flame-like though your progress be, Some thrills you've yet to gain; Not dead to all sensations we Who loiter in the lane. Of xpeed the savor and the sting , None but the weak deride; But, ab! the joy of lingering About the countryside The swiftest wheel, the We count no privilege eside acquiring, in the sun, The secret of the bedg conquering run We walt the poet fired to sing uil's discreet degrees, A rhapsody of sauntering, loria of ease; ing theirs the baser part ‘0 consciously forswear The delicate and gentle art Of nover getting there. To get there first—tis time to ring The knell of such an aim; riches bring y meteor, pi A vulgar bliss to choose before Repose in Nature's lap. r, too, how small a thing highest speed you gain ; © can sport on gauzy w Around the fastest train. ink of the swallow in the alr, The salmon in the stream, And cease to boast the records rare Of par and steam, Most, most of ail, when comes the spring; Again to lay (as now) Her band be and quickening On meadow, hill and bougt Should speed’s enchantment lo For “None who would exceed (The Mother speaks) “a mile an hour, My heart aright can read its power; The turnpike from the car to fling, As from a yacht the sea, T §GERS AT Wel Is doubtless as inspiring As aught on land can be; I grant the glory, the romance, But look behind the veil— Suppose that while the motor pants You miss the nightingale! —E. V. Lucas, in The Monthly Review. A PASSENGER entered a rail carriage In Australia in which was seated a particularly ag- gressive commercial traveler, and placed in the rack ‘opposite a small wooden box pierced with holes. In the conversation which followed, the commercial traveler gave several hints that he would like to know what was in the box, without avail. At last bis curiosity got the better of him. “T say, old man,” he asked, that box? “A mongoose.” was the reply. A series of diplomatic remarks followed, aimed t getting the reason for carrying a mongoo+e; but, s no explanation was offered, the commercial traveler had to say plump out: “What are you going to do with that mon- goose? The answer he got was: “I'm going to see a friend who has been drinking very heavily of late— so heavily, In fact, that be bas developed delirium tremens. You may be aware that people so suffer- ing are inclined to see snakes; and you may also be aware that there is nothing on carth so deadly to snakes as a mongoose." He sat back, evidently satisfied that he had given a full and complete ex- planatic But—but, I say,” said the commercial trav- hose snakes are imaginary.” ‘So is my mongoose,” returned the person tn- terrogated.—Sporting Times, hat have you in FASHIONABLE LOVE. Little Mary's big sister was engaged to Mr. Brown, who was away on an outing trip with Mary's brother. Her father was writing to his son and prospective son-in-law, and asked the little girl if she had a message to send to Mr. Brown. “What shall I say, papa?" asked she. “Why,” said the father, “I believe it Is the fashion to send your love. Some minutes later her father inquired, “And what shall I say to Brother Tom?” “Well,” replied the little miss, with a sigh, ‘you may send my fashionable love to Mr. Brown and my real love to Brother Tom."—Philadelphia Ledger. QUICK LUNCH. How does the busy man lunch? He rushes Into a quick-lunch room, All heedless of the impending doom That lurks in the hasty bill of fare Dispensed to the reckless eaters there. He works his way to the crowded bar Where beaps of quick-lunch viands are, And, arming himself with plate and knife, Proceeds to shorten his busy life. He grabs a sandwich of ancient date And shoves it between bis thumb and plate. Of eggs he seizes on one or two ‘That are boiled so hard the whit And as indigestible as glue. Then a bowl of coffee scalding hot, And he backs away with what he's got, And hurries the combination down With gulp and gasp and Impatient frown. are blue Again he goes to the fatal pile, Fretting and worrying all the while About the time that is speeding by. He captures a piece of stuff called pie— It looks all right to the careless eye; It is all right If you want to die— A couple of crullers of last month's make, A stale éclair and a piece of cake; Swallows the whole as quick as be can— Ob, he’s a terribly busy man! A toothpick, Ice water, and he's done, And back to bis office on the run. How does the busy man feel? He is very, very much depressed ; He feels as though he §s all compressed; Like a man was sitting on his chest. He has & something he can't explain; He knows it's there, for he feels the pain; He'd call it wooden, but wood 1s light, And the thing he has weighs like a fright. He drags around from morning to night A ball and chain on his appetite. He sees a doctor and states bis case; The doctor, noting his pallid face, Gives him the limit. The man goes back To travel the old dyspeptic track. —Baltimore American, Bicny: I'm saving up money to go to Europe. Micny: Indeed! How are you getting on? Bicny: Fine! I've already got together enough for the tips and as soon as I can scare up traveling expenses I'm off.—Chicago Daily News. Lire ts for sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain, The International News Compacy, Bream's Batlding, Chancery Lane, Lond F.C. England, Aqexta. The Umpire Where taste is the test, flavor ts the umpire, hence it is that the old, rich, mellow flavor of Established (823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s All! Hunter Baltimore Rye has made it The Most Popular Whiskey in America WO. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md. NEW YORK CENTRAL THD ' WILSON DISTTLLING CO. Baltimore, Md, 20th CENTURY LIMITED *te'ehicsge:” and LAKE SHORE. comicbooks.com