Life — August 20, 1903 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

UNDER THE ACT OF 1801. “All that it is cracked up to be” ‘*We gave the Searchmont a good test. “We went to Atlantic City and return without trouble. The meadows were up tothe hubs in mud, but we pulled through, mostly on second speed, carrying five people and our luggage. We left for Harrisburg by the way of Pottstown and Reading, making the run in six hours, climbing all the hills, some of which are 15 to 18 degrees. Having confidence in the power of the machine, we took a spin to Millersburg. 30 miles from Harrisburg, and struck mud-holes and hills galore, but arrived without any mishap. That evening we returned to Harrisburg, going over Peters Mountain—a straight climb of four miles to the top and four miles straight down on the other side. A tremendous pull for five people, but we got up and down safely. ‘*Having had several French machines last year, I can say that the Searchmont is all that it is cracked up to be, and is a first-class touring-car in every respect ” “America’s Leading Automobile” is not only a car of extreme beauty and luxuriousness, but you can plan the most trying trip, and the Searchmont will stand the test. You can see the beauty for yourself. The reliability of the Searchmont is proved by our factory test and by our roo per cent. records with all the cars in all the Endurance Contests of 1902. Send for Catalogue D. NEW YORK, John Wanamaker DETROIT, W. H, Weber PHILADELPHIA, John Wanamaker WASHINGTON, Chas. E. Miller & Bro. ROSTON, 11. HL Shattuck & Son OVIDENCE. H. B. Shattuck & Son ICAGO, Githens firos. Co, VAKK: Automobtte Co. ¢f N. J : ‘A. 1. Shunaker Roe! VELAND, Cleveland Auto, & Supply Co. "APOLIS, A. P. Chase & Co. Searchmont Automobile Co., North American Buildi Philadelphia (Member of the Association of Licensed Automobile Manufacturers) Factories: Searchmont (near Chester) Pa. POMMERY CHAMPAGNE Whether upon vacation voyages or: at social dinners or fétes, no champagne is comparable with Pommery CHARLES GRAEF & CO., Sole Agents for United States 62 Beaver Street, New York “ What Might Have Been.” F Adam had but saved a “thou” Each year since he was bare, He now would have six millions— 'Most a multimillionaire. If Jonah had been up to snuff, He would have plainly seen That his whale could have been lobbied As an autosubmarine. If Joshua had known his “biz” And merged the system stellar, There would have been no Standard Oil Or righteous R—r. If our old friend Methuselah Had lived t!l1 now,—just fabney !— He could have given cards and spades In mossy tales to Chavwncey. If Noah had but formed a trust In ships and bought an organ, By now he might be ‘most as rich As our J. Pierpont M- n. If Balaam came to earth again, And his donk-ass wasn’t there, What do you s'pose he'd ride upon? The holy, coaly B—r. If Moses had been up to date With Egypt's public works, He might have owned ’em all and been “A bigger man” than Y—=s. If Joseph hadn't left his coat With Mrs. P., in rage, It might have made a winter wrap For poor old Russell S——e. If Dives, with his early start, Had just learned how to milk The public cow, his name might be Vangtildenasterbilk. If Solomon, the muchly wed, And all his female cargo Could only be with us to-day, They might live in Chicago. If when those devils cornered pork They hadn’t been such farmers, And spoiled the pigs in too much brine, They might have been the A—=s. If poor Barabbas had but known ‘The way to spell his job, He might have built on Riverside A cot, like Cholly S——b. If Ananias had known how To work subscription-lists, He might have made his pile and been The king of journalists. W. E. P. Freneh. Not So Very Bad. RECENTLY, a boating party, on the Boston Harbor, was passing Rainsford Island, upon which there is a Farm School for Wayward Boys ; it being a holiday, these young farmers had the freedom of the island and were ap- parently having a very jolly time on the shore. | A lad of seven, who had been intently watching | their sport from the deck of the boat, turned to his mother, and said eagerly, ‘‘ How bad do you have to be to get there, mamma?” comicbooks.com