Life, 1903-08-20 · page 18 of 32
Life — August 20, 1903 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces mocking American society circa early 1900s: **"Moments of History"** ridicules a publisher who dismisses poetry as unmarketable while praising historical novels—satirizing publishing industry priorities. **"Strategic"** mocks U.S. imperial expansion in the Pacific, sarcastically suggesting Pacific islands seized as colonial possessions have minimal value—only large enough for flagstaffs at enormous cost ($10 million per island). This critiques American imperialism and wasteful government spending. **"The Bridge"** cartoon depicts wealthy people making servants carry heavy food platters, captioned "Making Your Friends Pay for Their Entertainment"—satirizing hypocritical hospitality where hosts burden guests with labor. **Lower vignettes** include absurdist humor about an oversized mosquito, criminals being robbed by policemen (role reversal), and a butcher's customer praising cheap, tough meat—all mocking urban life's ironies. **"The Kiss"** is romantic poetry unrelated to satire. The page exemplifies *Life*'s irreverent humor targeting politics, social pretense, and commercial absurdity.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
180 Moments of History. HE publisher, who had come in late from an author's dinner, was inclined to shirk the responsibility of an interview. Bat when Horace was presented, undoing a bundle of his odes, he insisted upon reading them, until the bouncer came in and threw him down the elevator shaft. “If he had been a historical novel- ist,’ remarked the publisher curtly, “it might have been worth while, but poetry is a drug on the market."’ Strategic. T YHE islands which we have lately taken possession of, in the Pacific, are of strategic value. It is estimated that several of the larger members of the group can, by the erection of a sea-wall, be made to afford room for a flagstaff at a cost not in excess of ten million dollars per island. Who is thrice armed hath his quar- rel just. Some of us will do well to bear this A CAT Nar. BRIDGE. MAKING YOUR FRIENDS PAY POR THEIR ENTERTAINMENT. In the Sweet By and By. “‘DATCHOGUE.—A mosquito bit a cow and three people here yester- day. The cow has been shot, and the people sent to New York for treatment. Tne community is in a state of ter- ror, as the mosquito is still at large. The insect is thought to have escaped from some menagerie. Those who claim to have seen it describe it as a large specimen, measuring an eighth of an inch from tip to tip. ‘Prurst UNDER-WORLDING: I = came near being robbed by a New York policeman. SeconD UNDER-WORLDING : you escape? “Yes, but I had to call in a burglar to help me.”” J UTCHER: Wasn't that a good steak I sent you yesterday ? CustoMER: Oh, it was a good dura- ble steak. Did The Kiss. W E were walking home together Through the fragrant fields of June, In the sweet, enchanted weather When the earth is all in tune; Secrets in our hearts, unspoken ; Over us the blue unbroken Save where, like a lover's token, Hung the slender, crescent moon. Love and Hope were mine to guide me In the scented atmosphere, And with Beauty close beside me Paradise itself was near: Love was in theair. I knew it; Leaves, they lisped it ; breezes blew it ; And upon the grass in dew it Mingled in the moonlight clear. White she was,—a moonlit lily Were not lovelier to see In its garden boudoir stilly ! Fairer than a flower was sh Music was her voice ; her laughter Sped, as ‘twere a lyric shaft her Lips let go, and Echo after Followed us with melody. Echo followed,—so did Cupid,— Whispering along the way I could hear them murmur: * Stupid, Why not kiss her when you may? Why not tell her in the teilight While the stars and moon on high light All the world with love's own, shy light?” “ Hear,” my heart said, “ and obey!” So I took my heart's suggestion, And, when next I heard a sigh, All of love went in a question And returned in her reply ; Then came one brief, blissful minute With a first kiss tangled in it. Think, what luck it was to win it, With a horseshoe in the sky! Feliz Carmen, comicbooks.com