Life — August 13, 1903 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A DRY*LANO MERMAID. Must lead a life that to her is as dry as a dry Ive read it,” replied the author, shaking bis [According to the Salt Lake Herald, there is sponge. head now in Salt Lake City a young woman of sweet Don't you think that if you knew her you'd have Ob, you have!” exclaimed the boy, as a couple sixteen who is alm am id. Her bed nerve enough to woo her, of passengers leaned forward to listen. covered with Sine, silvery scales and she has w And hasten to her natural realm and with her you like it? feet. When she was a Id her pare * take a plunge? “Pretty well,” said Mr. Harben. Then, think visiting on ths coast of Callforals., One)'da What a joy ‘twould be to marry this dear, sweet 108 of the tedious hours spent in revisions of th eacaped and-awain into t n nearly a quarter: nant water’ tatsy manuscript and proofreading, he added, tmpre of a mile before she was overtaken. She {s very And with her seek ihe! emerala caverta of ‘the , “T have read it fve t pretty, and seems to be unable to exist without einy-Oeey: Five times!” exclaimed the boy, and the tw frequent immersions.] Etiecenlghu-kuow: cf fcldsvelpalinwhere-dlley live passengers promptly purchased coples, as the « pens lystan where they live 1M cerpeising bookseller moved on through the « Gentle reader, here's a ditty of a maid in Salt ristan, “The Substitute’—new book. Just out 7 ere the hotels are first class and reason- ay tae mad Lake Cit ; . SEs EE RE RERS SINS RRC ESHA man read it five times. Only a few copi Or rather of a mermald, as the care has proved y cheap panties Anerieu lett !*—Minneapotis Tribune. “How did We can state without mixgiving that she ts th A yYouxG American once found himself in an tne English country house; he was not a bad young fellow, but he carried the habit of self-glorification beyond the possible point. so that he got himself only living Member of ber race who doesn't sojourn in Tur. minister was looking for a sober janit and he found Jo Jobn is a strapping clean and wholesome looking. The much pleased with Jjchn And Jobn bad some good recomn and secmed to know his business so that the minicter eng: bim. “Do you know where the church is?" J nook bis head Well, it's down on the south enue, near Lexington street aber?” Like every other mermaid, in the water she would — ‘l+liked. and ordinary men said that be wa) have stayed romar A son of the house took him a But for the fact that she wa and bred upon “Poke to him delicately upon the subject the tuad = Wal Americal “ d hurt me to And though exiled from the water, still she ts a offend any of you ices; but the fact fav daughter ts that when I commence to bluff m orter Of old ocean, and ix happiest when sporting on © FUNX away with me. I'd take It kindly If you'd give me a nudge, or a kick, or somet when you think I'm spreading It too thick.” . mystic In the very realistle The son of the house said he would. ‘That ight aM bie M bea a ‘ mermaid tmarks this pretty the American took an Englith heiress in to dinner, 7 rom ange suuians nd happened to refer to conservatories. It logostie te t glimmer like the sparkling started the American, bimmer “LE had a cousin in Virginia who built himself a C. tells a rather topical Ite tale A n the =pray that sweeps the beach greenhouse that was thought ret le. It was certain officer in the army was disliked by bis mea, long, 90 feet high, and——" Here bis and one night, as be was returning to barracks, be shins were barked under the table and the son of slipped into some deep water. A private bapper Form the armor that encase: her In funny fiony na wate Barked onder the (apie ade (Be seb of ped x fe A ppeate caea the house caught his eye. He rubbed the dent ana to the occurrence, and with great difficulty Whisk are, ik call "UieALSE BE the. tanieas ed. with a sight “And about an inch wide."— pulled the officer out. The officer was very profuse aureil ber Exchange in his thanks and asked bis rescuer how be could reward him, “The best way you can reward me ‘ould this nympb, as one may term her, have her yy . “ wid, Ghar Wild aken eure Witt. N. Hannes was on a train going out of replied the private, “is to say m dip iage " New York recently when a newsboy approached him it.” “Why, my good fellow,” sald the astc ery day of her existence would undoubtedly be y. my 8 i a ee Ber exist atesundountems with an armful of books. He promptly offered M at early morn. 413 feet r, “why do you wish me to say nothing about Harben a copy of his own novel, “The Substitute.”* * “Because if the other fellows knew I pulled Dear male reader, it’s a pity that this ni 0 “It's by the author of ‘Abner Daniel.’ ex- you out they'd blooming well chuck me in!"—L. Salt Lake City plained the boy. “Have a copy?” don Daily News. 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