Life, 1903-08-13 · page 14 of 24
Life — August 13, 1903 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains light satirical commentary typical of early 20th-century Life magazine. The main elements: **"My Summer Girl"** is a romantic poem about a man's infatuation with a mermaid-like woman who loves the sea—a playful fantasy piece with accompanying illustration. **"Diplomacy"** mocks Ambassador Tower's new court uniform described as "chiffon"—a delicate, transparent fabric. The satire suggests it's absurd for a diplomat representing America's territorial interests to wear such an insubstantial material, playing on anxieties about appearing weak internationally. **"Horrible Thought"** jokes that an astrologer predicting King Edward will face trouble must inspire poet Alfred Austin to write another ode—satirizing Austin as predictably dramatic and opportunistic. The remaining brief items offer social observations: Christian Scientists' low death rates, Utah's claim of no polygamists, the Kaiser's postage costs, and forgotten childhood loves. The central photograph captioned "Sweet Smile and a Winning Way" depicts what appears to be a business or social gathering, though its specific context isn't clear from the text.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘Line? My Summer Girl. ibe PAREWELL, ! a Phyllis And Amaryllis! Till frost I your charms di- vine; This sultry weather, I slip the tether, lass of the breezy brine. banish To woo Old Neptune's dav She loves the water As you, fair deities Where salt spray dashes love the land ; She dips and splashes 1s in glee on the shifting sand. When stars are shining, On rocks reclining, She scans her face in a mirror bright; On snowy billows Her head she pillows, of love in the silver light. Where corals cluster In rosy lustre, She softly warbles her siren song ; With duleet numbers She soothes to slumbers, And fans a fellow the whole night long. All other lasses She far surpasses, Serene and tra With dripping tresses And damp caresses A sweetheart tender, but never warm, il in calm and storm ; So farewell, Phyllis And Amaryllis ! noses she quite disjoints ; My blithe mermaiden, With sea-foam laden, In August weather can give you points. Your pre Evie Moore, ‘HE woman of science is aware that she is a congeries of mole- cules; but she likes to have them gowned tastefully. Diplomacy. ‘HE dispatches which speak of Ambassador Tower's new court dress as a “chiffon uniform” will, perhaps, awaken no alarm in the breasts of the frivolous and superficial. The serious-minded, however, will not fail to reflect that chiffon is a diaphanous material. Can we afford, in view of our terri- torial importance, to run any risk of r seeing through our Mr. Tower? * FLOW fast can you go in that = automobile?" “Oh, three times as fast as the law allows.”” Horrible Thought. “ FPERE'S an astrologer who pre- dicts that King Edward is shortly to pass throngh a lot of trouble, a dark clond hanging over the Empire. Some horrible calamity, don’t you know.” “T'll bet Alfred Austin is writing another ode.”” CCORDING to the latest ath-rate ntists figure Christia A, SPECIAL jury in Viah A has discovered that there isn'ta single man in Salt Lake City who is a polygamist. This sounds well, but there isn'ta single man in the annals of who has committed It is always the married men who wed not wisely but too often. crime bigamy either. N these peaceful days of hands stretched across the sea, it is to be hoped that the Kaiser's mailed fist will have sufficient postage to cover its pa UR childish loves are forgotten because they left no sting. SMILE AND A WINNING WAY.” comicbooks.com