Life, 1903-07-09 · page 14 of 20
Life — July 9, 1903 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page mixes practical advice with political satire. The "Real Homes" articles humorously chronicle how working-class people (a hotel worker, an office boy earning $5/week) accumulated wealth through extreme penny-pinching—saving 10% of tips, spending only $3.96 weekly—to build modest houses. The satire lies in presenting these meager savings as triumph. The illustrated cartoon shows a man being struck by a woman—likely referencing tensions in American college life and Greek organizations, though the specific context appears unclear from the caption alone. The brief "Two Verdicts" poem presents contrasting judgments on failure: worldly cynicism versus divine compassion for struggle. The humor pieces mock Fourth of July excess (a battleship destroyed by a firecracker, fish killed by celebration noise), and the final section on "Velvet" offers punning commentary on political complacency—the best political velvet keeps people unaware ("never wake up"). The overall tone is satirical commentary on American consumer culture, social mobility, and political apathy circa 1950.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Real Homes Axo How ro Save Moxey to Burto Tues. NUMBER 1, V \7 HEN we began our married life, we lived in a small, overheated suite on the fourth floor of the Waldorf, and had all our meals in the dining-room, thus saving the expense of having them brought up to us. ly wife was not strong, which obliged us to run our auto- mobile so slowly that no one was run over, the saving of this amounting to quite a little. We began our new home by taking off ten per cent. of the head waiter’s tip and investing itin St. Paul preferred. In a few months we were enabled to erect the humble bnilding shown above. NUMBER II, [POR a long time T have been a head office boy and draw- ing a salary of four dollars per week. One day my salary was suddenly raised to five dollars, which enabled me to start my married career. Our expenses were divided as follows: Reat. oe . seeceenes, 99 cents. Table. wo cents, Clothes. 99 cents. Incidentais, doctors, e 99 cents, Total... enigea: oo0+ $3.96 By putting the balance out at interest, in the space of three years we were enabled to build the modest dwelling above. Some day we hope to have a better home than But in the meantime we try to be content, THR AMERICAN COLLEGE 18 GIVING GREEK A BLACK RY Ke Two Verdicts, HAT shall be said of me when all is done, And I lie quiet in my dusty bed? Of wy long fight with Fate, alas! unwon, What shall be said? “Tears for the fallen; silence for the dead ; And be not righteous overmuch, my son!” So the world’s wisdom. But an angel read This from on high: “He failed; and one by one Delivered up the gates beleaguered. Yea. But he struggled. He need never shun What shall be s: — “ Fycie.” ‘TQIRST CRICKET: held this morning? Seconp Cricket: In the onion bed; and there wasn't a dry eye in the congregation. July 4, 1950. N EW YORK, July 5.—The battleship * Mindanao,” dis- placement four million tons, was destroyed in the harbor yesterday by a cannon cracker carelessly thrown from the dock. Cuicaco, July 5.—All the fish in Lake Michigan were killed by yesterday's celebration. Sr. Louis, July 5.—Yesterday was the quietest Fourth in many years. Fewer than a dozen large buildings were blown up. This is thought to be largely due to the authorities forbidding any boy under six years of age discharging a cracker containing more than seventeen tons of powder, Where was the open-air service Velvet. Vv ELVET may be either cotton, silk or political. The main thing with velvet is the nap. The longer the nap, the better the velvet. Indeed, the best political velvet is where the people never wake up. As with textile fabrics generally, the manufacture of velvet is vastly stimulated by the protective tariff. Velvet is soft to the touch—that is, if one understands touching. comicbooks.com