Life — July 2, 1903 — page 29: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

now SHREDDED Witt; BISCUIT A FEAST for THE EYE, THE PALATE and THE REASON: FOR BYE becssse t tens thelf to $8 PALATE lsssltsessicesace & REASON |: tive forms. nat SENSR by, \ esing waCOOED Wake wncar istalt, be st pores and theretore t by all grocers. Send for t book) FREE. THE NATURAL FOOD CO., NIAGARA FALLS, N.Y. One taste convinces KORN -KRISP __Leads them all eaarent English Remedy BLAIR’S PILLS§, Safe, Sure, Effective. 50C. & $', DRUGGISTS, or 22% William Bt, N. ¥. Pom ENTRANCING. PHONOGRAPH Don’t judge the Phonograph by what you have heard—the imitations or the old styles—but call_at_ the nearest dealer's and hear the Phonograph with Mr. Ediso! recent improvements. DEALERS SELL_PHONOCRAPHE 8 NATIONAL PHONOGRAPH CO.. Orange. N.J. New YOU CHcAgO, | SuN FRANCISCO TUROPE: ANTWERP, BELCIOR Es Chambers St, 206 Wabash Are, GSD MEAS. 32 Rampart Salat Ceorges The — ERE ** Stop seratechin’ on the breasth 0’ Mother From dawn o’ day until the candle loigit. Scratch half a day an’ foind out what yer worth The other half—an’ thet'll set ye roight. earn A.—B.—C.—an’ two-times-two is four, make a thry to Foind out phwat’s phat, an’ show it. | | y ed. T'll tell | Yer brain's ashleep an In’t roasht a man thet has no sinse, But that my betthers did it, moighty well, An’ Markham made ye luk loike thirty cints. If I wuz you I'd want to go to — well! Lonly hope thet whin that noble man Has inshpirations comin’ fasht and thick, He'll hunt up Casey an. He'll inthroduce the man thet houlds the pick.” James Clarence Harvey. My Newspaper. 'T to commend my newspaper to a ry public. You would not permit free advertising, so I must not mention its name, In fact, there is a little practical dificulty in so doing, that I will let you infer, My newspaper depends upon its reputation for | giving all of the news, rather than upon the tricky device of staring headlines to gull the |thoughiless. Therefore, it docs not think it necessary to begin every important article on the first page. Before I discovered my newspaper, I used to become very irritable at the breakfast table. 1 would begin a piece of news, read down the column, and find this formula, ‘Continued on page three.” Then I would refold the great sheet, stand it up against the water-piteber, and read a dozen lines to the end. Turning back to | the first page, I would begin another article avd | soon come to a stop with the words, ‘Continued on page nine.” ‘This time I would rumple the | paper considerably as I hunted for the sequel | About the third time, I would say to my wife, * What is the matter with this coffee? I never drank such vile stuff before in my life.” We killed a man at our club the other night, and he was a good fellow, too. We all liked him, but we all joined in the most brutal assault upon him. The trouble was that he would ever- Jastingly interlard his talk with such expressions as this: ‘* The news about Smith, that I was the first to make public, etc.” As I told | you all last week, ete.” Some of the gentlest | members of the club fell upon him in a perfect | rage. ‘There came into the village a man who under- took to reform the club; he said we were too dull, too remote from real life. ** What,” said he, | ‘do we care about the downfall of the British | ministry, or the prospects of polar exploration 2” | Te said the daily newspaper was a very good index to what the people were interested in, and we ought to get our subjects from the pr Well, to be brief, he carried his point and | revolutionized the club. I will give a few of the | topics that I hear have been under discussion ; ) Who began the row at McFlynn’s saloon ?” |The naked facts of the Jonesbury divorce case.” The art of padding for scrawny built women.” They tell me the meetings are very full. I don't know. My wife and I stay at home and read my newspaper. ‘e somethin’ more— yersilf don’t know it, “Twudd ashe Kilmin Caston Pleases the most fastidious, Itis pure, soft and satisfying, and its su ority for le use is instantly recognized. SPARKLING DEERF for ble i liquors ha ated, in splits, in half gallons with wines a equal. C: pints and quarts. S and five-gallon carboys. “YOU REMEMBER THE TASTE.” Write for Booklet. THE DEERFIELD WATER CO., Deerfield, Ohio. THE GLEN SPRINGS THE AMERICAN NAUHEIM A Tlealth Resort and Hotel of the hi complete ani modern bathi America, Hydrothe most etrieity in all formes SAVAGE RIFLES T HE supreme confidence users of Savage Rifles feel when bunting big game re- sults in the most successful shots. There isno uncertainty over the chance of your rifle mis- firing, clogging or shooting inaccurately. ‘That the most famous bunters of large and dangerous game pin their faith to a Savage is not due to any matter of sentiment—they know by actual experience the superiority of the Savage system. Catalogue No. 9 is full of interest to all sportsmen, Mailed on request. SAVAGE ARMS COMPANY, UTICA, N. Y., U.S. A. BAKER & HAMILTON, Paciric Coast AGENTS, SAN FRANCISCO AND SACRAMENTO, CAL comicbooks.com