Life, 1903-07-02 · page 14 of 32
Life — July 2, 1903 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"The Cannon Cracker"** (top): A monologue by a personified firecracker boasting of its destructive exploits—causing injuries, fires, and property damage. The satire targets Fourth of July celebrations and the casual acceptance of dangerous fireworks that routinely harmed people, particularly children. The joke exposes how Americans normalized this annual toll of injuries as entertainment. **"Vivisection" (bottom left)**: A brief commentary mocking the logic of animal-testing advocates who claimed animals don't suffer like humans. The satire darkly suggests this reasoning could justify human experimentation—exposing the absurdity of the vivisection defense. **"Blossom Alley"** (right): A sentimental poem about romantic courtship, likely included as light filler or gentle satire of saccharine Victorian love poetry. The page exemplifies *Life*'s mix of biting social commentary with whimsy and verse.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Cannon Cracker. % mother ,, toys ®a, FS thay dy ag ty @ om . voy er wwe? pe Was an ove « ih the favorite *™ by a clever P* jue @pan; paper 8° 2 pest 2% he put together * then yo,,.0urth of July is MEY and an e in U ~ fuse See me abroad in Ey fo Single 50 x is dry Htch of a parlor BACT, here ® 7 22d it’s sure to catching BY . eal! 1 plainly sees ™ ri 2, and zine; sputter 8° mack hoe tiz! Within strange: disty, it ist re gives me ° 07 ring Bi ott 1 Bree) OS Pang, and suddenly ON, and ‘ T cough on ole make, and every OMY cord But a splendid mat 8) ” You bet! A runaway YO y's dress that 18 OS 1 sizzled and spole’ fous & nose that one’ Job ¢, & couple of Tedd there's Uetor, another ® record that might VE Frank Roe Batchelder, QIRST FLEA : Well, good-by. ‘oND Fea: Where are you goin, “The doctor insists upon my trying a higher altitude. I'm going to leave this Skye Terrier for a Great Dane." Vivisection. “ANIMALS skinned alive don’t + sutfer as human beings would under similar circumstances, a prominent vivisector. This sounds ominous. Is it only a question of time when people are to be skinned alive, etc THe Jews of France, of England and of America hate Russia with all the bitterness that can be crowded into resolutions and memorials, but with hardly sufficient bitterness to re- fase to lend her money. The Bear is good pay and a lav- ish borrower, albeit a bit rough at times. observes Blossom Alley. WV BEN Summer brings the rose, The lure of every lover, Myrtilla with me goes Where fragrant breezes hover, Unto a garden—clo Set in a shaded valley Dear little street! — That named it Blossom Alley. was her conceit Here in the dewy morn When birds are making merry,— When golden flames adorn ach jewel bud and berry, — hen on his muffled horn The bold bee blows to rally . then hand in hand a Blossom Alley. W e walk Here in the tranquil noon Beneath the sunlight gleaming, When all the roses swoon And all the vines are dreaming, en drowsy in the June he zephyrs halt and dally, e come in quest of Cupid's nest Builded in Blossom Alley. But it is dusk that calls The heart with voice most tender, When twilight softly falls And stars come forth in splendor Upon the night's blue walls,— ‘Ah, well those blossoms tally With one I kiss,—the fairest, this, That biows in Blossom Alley! Feliz Carmen, comicbooks.com