Life — June 4, 1903 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“THROUGH h EN accustomed to dar i THE LINE” ralways carry a Smith & Wesson Revolver because they have absolute confidence in 2. by Saaith & Wesson, curacy and reliability. A Smith & Wesson is the surest preparation for infrequent peril because it is to be depended upon in aay crisis. Smith & Weston otvers have cram. trade: Mamped oa the fra No ethers are genuine SMITH & WESSON 42 STOCKBRIDGE STREET Che final word, on a subject of vital importance to both MEN AND WOMEN. By the eminent authority, Prof, Wm. H. Walling, A.M., M.D. Sent, cloth-bound, post-paid, on receipt ef $1.00, Write for “Other People’s Opisions,” and table of cone tents, of “Sexology '"; also our 10h page illustrated catalogue of books of merit—FREE. PURITAN PUB. CO., DEPT. Y., PHILADELPHIA. SPRINGFIELD, MASS. Proves It Pasted on every piece of the genuine ‘Agate Nickel-Steel Contains No Poison in the enamel. If substitutes are offered, writo Free. Sold by leading Department d Housefurnishing Stores. LANCE & GROSJEAN MFG. CO. New York, “Boston, — Chicago. | trial, take the girlaside, and tell her just how you feel. Spare nothing. She knows pretty well just how much of a fool you have been making of yourself—if she doesn’t, she is no kind of a girl—but nevertheless, she expects to hear it from you direct. Give yourself away then and there, and promise all there isin the game, You can wriggle out of it afterwards in some way. They alldo, When she has said “ Y | in as many different languages as she knows, do not pat yourself on the back toosoon. Active life has only just begun for you. You must | then learn how to fetch and carry, sit up and | beg, jump through a ring, swing the circl spend money, and do all the other trick: Above all, preserve your foolishness and lose your self-control. This is the price you pay for your serfdom. WHEN YOU ARE MARRIED, There are several ways open to you in this awful hour, You may assume a light banter- ing air, as if it were all a joke. You may slap | the bride’s father on the back and call him |*governor.” You may say real funny things tothe best man while you are waiting in the anteroom. Or you may be solemn and dignified, as if you were actually impressed by the seriousness of the whole affair. It really makes no differ- ence how you act, however, as no one will notice you. ‘The main point is to keep your eye on the ring and not to forget your seats in the parlor car. Do not, however, if you can possibly avoid it, present your parlor car check to the minister when he asks you for the ring, as you will probably hear from it later—all the rest of your life. While you are about it you might put some pads between your knees. It is very disturb- ing at the most silent part of the ceremony, to hear the groom's knees rattle like a pair of tanets Otherwise, just do as you are told, Being no longer an individual with a soul of own, your power to choose your path has been taken away from you, and the sooner you recognize this, the better. To know where we stand is one-half the battle. WHEN THERE ARE BURGLARS DOWN-STAIR=. Events which are apparently trivial in the daytime assume an immense importance in the dead of night. A slight noise, out of the ord nary, will sometimes have its bearing on the married lives of two people. When, therefore, your wife wakes you up with that intensely nervous movement indicates a brooding horror, do not lose your presence of mind. Keep from shaking if pos- sible, and while secretly your heart may be it your throat, do not betray yourself. Above all, do not wake up too soon. Begin by groaning slightly, and roll over. At the second pull her part, it will be entirely proper for you to start slightly, rub your eyes and mutter any unintelligible sentence. Then, as you gradu ally wake up and she becomes more persistent, you may allow yourself to say Oh, nonsense.” comicbooks.com