Life — May 28, 1903 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sanctum Talks. “ (3.00D MORNING, Lire.” “Good morning, Mr.” “Vreeland, at your service.” “Why, I didn’t know you were at anybody's service, Mr. Vree- “Perhaps not. I see by your re- mark that you = know wholam.”” “Well, yes. You are President of the Metropolitan Street Railway.” ‘“«T have that dishonor.” “What! You acknowledge it?” “Why not? This is confidential. I do enjoy these little Sanctum Talks, Lire, because they relieve one’s mind.’’ ‘‘Well, Mr. Vreeland, I am more than glad to have your confidence, and to know that you can trust me to keep your secret. What can Ido for you?” “Oh, I’ve just come in for a little rest. I'm nervous, and tired, and——”’ “My! Why, you must have been riding on one of your own cars.” ‘*No, not so bad as that. I'm too good a financial physician to swallow my own medicine. But——" “I know—you've been listening to complaints.”” “-Yes—that’s it. This beastly public is so upreasonable.”” “Do you really think so?” “By Jove! Lire, do you know, when I made that remark I thought I was being interviewed. No, I—of course I don’t mean it. The public is allright. They——" “They suffer too much without com- plaining, don’t they?" “They do, indeed. That's where our profit comes in, Between you and me, Lire, land my old system are a disgrace to civilization.”” “You mean you are a disgrace to the name. Civilization means one thing, you know, and the name another.” “Well, I suppose that’s so. I read you occasionally,and I know from this that a large part of civilization is op- pression and injustice, while the name means something so much better. But say, LIFE.”’ ‘Ll FB * “Well, Mr. Vreeland?” “T'm not such a bad man. And, you know, I really have executive ability. Why, the directors think I'm great.”” “ How do you account for it?’’ “Why, because I make money for them, of course. Those open cars, for instance.” “* Money-makers, are they?” “Mints! The seats are put close together so that no self-respecting and decent woman can stand up without a deep sense of shame. Then the steps are so high, that to get on and off is— well, not a pleasant operation, to say the least.” “*Well, Mr. Vreeland, that is no news. What are you telling me for?” “Why, Lire, just because I want you to know that I know it. Con- fession is good for the soul of a corporation — in strictest confidence.”’ “Oh, yes, of course. It wouldn't do to make your passengers more com- fortable, would it? You might have larger cars, for instance —say, with two conductors and—' “Dear me,no! Why, my dear Lire, we need not only to make a good profit 489 out of the compliant public for our own cupidity, but we've got to make enough more, so that rival syndicates in Wall Street can use us for gambling pur- poses. And this is expensive.’ “‘Isee. And so there’s no hope for the public.” “No. It is the business of every chaste and upright street railway to get as much out of them as possible, regardless of their feelings. And New York, being a big brother to all the rest of the cities, must needs set the most lucrative example.” “T see. But, my dear Vreeland— some day——”’ “I know, Lire, what you would say. Some day the public may rise on its hind legs and—and then, stand from under! That is why we cry reform at proper intervals just to placate the public and make them think it isn't our fault. But really, Lire, I'm not such a bad man.” “Of course not, Mr. Vreeland. Why, just think. You might be——” “What, Lire?’? “Twins!! Good-by, Mr. Vreeland. Steplively. Plenty of room in the front.” ‘*G-g-good-by, Lire.” MM is Lauf a hi iy 7 yy; Wy SNAP SHOTS IN HADES. A PLEETING OLIMPSE OP WHAT HATTENS TO THAT TYPE OF MAN WHO HIRES 4 HORSE, AND, Brcacer it is 4 “HIRED HORSE," DRIVES IT ALMOST TO DEATH. comicbooks.com