Life, 1903-05-21 · page 18 of 24
Life — May 21, 1903 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces targeting wealth and self-interest: **"Consideration Toward Providence"** mocks Andrew Carnegie (the steel magnate), whose real estate holdings appreciated $200,000. The poem criticizes his forty-year neglect of charitable giving or prayer, suggesting his wealth came from luck rather than merit or divine favor. The satire implies Carnegie should acknowledge Providence's role in his fortune by helping the poor, who actually do pray for assistance. **"The Thoughtful Sheep"** is an Aesop-style fable satirizing labor relations. A sheep, learning his wool is sold for profit, tries sabotaging his own wool growth using hair restorer. The farmer responds by cutting his food rations, and the sheep suffers terribly in winter. The moral: workers who resist exploitation end up worse off. This appears to critique both labor militancy and employer retaliation during the industrial era. Both pieces use humor to highlight economic inequality and the moral failures of the wealthy.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
CONSIDERATION TOWARD PROVIDENCE. (“Providence has been kind to me of late, be- cause a plece of realty { bought has risen $200,000 in value, and when I come to think of it I can assign no reason for this generosity except that I have not bothered Providence with my petitions for about forty years."—Andrew Carnegie.) For forty years be has not asked Tho Lord to guard or give. Kind Providence has not been tasked With helping bim to live Contented with the profits of His frons, steels, and cokes, He lets the Lord of life and love Look after other folks. For forty years he’s bad no need To fall upon bis knees And beg the Ruler to take heed Of any miseries. His mills have given opulence: Still every chimney smoh And he fs letting Providence Look after other folks, For forty years—just think of it! His luck has been immense. Each day to him has seemed unfit To bother Providence. Some pray the Lord to give them aid And lift their heavy yokes ; He let the Lord (and it has paid) Look after other folks. His forges flare, his pulleys turn, His hammers clang and clash— ‘Tis thus we may the lesson learn Of how to gather cash Tho poor man, bending low his head, Beseeches and invokes; But he lets Provi instead, Look after other folks. | ! j But Providence, some people say, Sends blessings more than gold; Good things that we may give away And still, with wonder, hold. Yet forty years have come and gone And brought no blighting strokes, So he lets Providence go on Attending other folks. —W. D. N., in Chicago Tribune, THE THOUGHTFUL SHEEP A FABLE. A thoughtful sheep who had received a haircut and shampoo from his owner on a warm spring day noticed that the owner gathered up the wool and carefully preserved it. Inquiries made by tho sheep elicited the information that the farmer sold the fleece for a good sum. Well,” remarked tho sheep, “here is where I stop growing wool. That farmer has never done anything for me that entitles him to sell my ral- ment. Te will not syndicate my capillary adota- ment next spring. None whatever.” “And bow will you prevent growing wool asked a friend, That's easy,” said the sheep. “Watch me.” So the sheep secured several bottles of Hair Restorer and applied the contents to his epidermis. Soon the wool began to fall out. More Hair Re- storer was applied, and within a few weeks the sheep looked like a cross between a Mexican hair- less dog and a dress sult case. The farmer eyed the sheep with amazement, tinged with disfavor, “I guess the beast has been living too high," he remarked to his wife. “I will reduce the supply of food.”* So the sheep was put on half rations, and this caused a loss of flesh. Then winter came on, snow became prevalent and contagious, and the hair! sheep suffered keenly. He sat by the cheerlzss steam radiator day after day mourning over bts chilled and hairless condition. Moral: Buy your next winter's coal York Evening Sun, w— Neo Tue usual crowd was seated in tue corner of the Fifth Avenue Hotel one ight te. cently when an individual with the appearance of shabby gentility joined the party and, after a somewhat verbose and grandiloquent recial of bis woes, came to the point and asked for © quarter, Impressed with the mendicant’s unususl Sow of language, “Abe” Gruber said to him: “Say, what part of the country do you hail trom?" “Sir,” sald the shabby one, “I first light of day in the great city of Pittsbu “Well” said “Abe,” “any man who could do that the first day he was alive can levy tribute from me. Pass your hat."—New York Tics aw the “EveryTHina is ready for the ceremony, 1 trust?" sald the foreign groomsman, at the inter national marriage. “It 1s," replied the master of ceremo “AM seats have boon reserved for the collectors sent by his lordship’s creditors?” “Three pews from the front, sir, where they can keep him continually in sight.” “Good! 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