Life — May 14, 1903 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Catechism Universitatis Future. UESTION: college? Answer: A college is an organization of athletes controlled by the Tobacco Trust. “What is its purpose?” “To teach endurance of the trial by Gridiron, and instill a healthy disrespect of the human organism.”’ “How does it origi- nate?" “Some originate in the minds of benevolent men ; afew in the Church, and What isa “OP COURSE, WE NEEDN'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING WE HEAR ABOUT OUR PaIENDS.” BUT, THANK HEAVEN, WE CAN Repeat it!" “rnee, some in oil. Oil is stand- ard."? “What is a Professor— that is, a proficient one?’’ proficient professor is one who for the mini- mum salary will give the most dignity to official oc- casions, His duties are to occupy a conspicuous place in the catalogue and ap- pear at all league games.’’ “ What is a student ?’” “The word is a mis- nomer.”? “Explain.”” “It was formerly ap- CHANGED. The Crow; WERE COMES THE BALD-NEADED EAGLE. 1 DECLARE 1 HARDLY RECOGNIZED NIM AT FIRST. The Owl: Neirurn wiv 1. WEARING & WIG. NE LOOKS QUITE DIFFERENT SINCE HE TOOK TO plied to youths who were so foolish as to seek for knowledge in books. It now signifies a collection of pipes, walking-sticks, and wearing apparel.” “What is commencement?” “Commencement is a pretty masquerade, in which the members of the class express their sorrow at having to work at last by appearing in black gowns. To those deserving, a parchment is given, contain- ing statements of their weight, height and horse-power ** What does this ‘ student’ do now?" “He secures a job in the Old Man's office, and spends his old age in Scotch and recollec- tion “Good, ics will now recite."” The class in comparative aerostat- PLD J. Education. T'S a curious {dea, taking young men out of life for four years In order to prepare them for life. —Fra Eltertus. Life, in the general sense, is about what indi- vidual ideals have made it. It is more than it was ten thousand years ago, because in the meanwhile here and there a man has conceived ideals other than those derived from life itself. The Roycroft philosophy, for instance, takes men out of life sometimes, and sometimes to their betterment and the ultimate betterment of life itself. we WwW IGGS says his new house has bath-rooms.”’ “Must bea fine place! What does he call it?” « Plumber's Paradise."” shteen comicbooks.com