Life — April 9, 1903 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

-LIPE- a “close to his chin,” as his fond father had instructed him to. Mrs. Dimpleton uttered a feminine shriek of dismay. “Oh, what are you doing?” she gasped. “Being a parent to onr child,” said Dimpleton, ‘“ Edward, say ‘Damn.’ “Dam,” lisped Edward. Mrs. Dimpleton, thoroughly horror- stricken, snatched up the boy and folded him to her breast. “ Are you mad?” she exclaimed. “Not exactly,” said Dimpleton. “This is only a little idea of my own. I hope to teach our —_ little son to play poker and swear fluently. At present his vocabulary is limited to the little word you have heard, but in a few more afternoons I'll make an expert out of him. Give me time!"” His wife laughed hysterically. “You'll never have another chance !"’ she exclaimed. “How can you help your- self?’ said Dimpleton. ‘* You will go to these nice, interest- ing parents’ meetings, and I give you my word that every time you go I'll stay home and teach that kid just what I have been _ teaching him this after- noon.” “Then I'll never go again!" Dimpleton went over and patted his wife on the shoulder. “Good for you !’’ he said affectionately. ‘‘My dear, there is one thing in the world more important for a mother to do than to attend a lecture to parents, and that is, to stay home and protect her child from its father.”" Tom Masson. The Youthful, but Persistent Suilor: YoU WILL GET TIRED OP REFUSING ME souz par! “YES. ALL PLEASURES END.” BACK TO ASIA. comicbooks.com