Life — March 19, 1903 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

No Stop-Over. A) BRAND-NEW baby and it smother +>. once got on a train which was bound through to Ruddyville. Before the train got to its first stop, a man came through, and said: “ Dear lady, the next station is the Pep- tonized, Concentrated, Infants’ Essence of Life Station. If you want that baby of yours to thrive, you'd better get off here.” And he handed her a circular, The lady smiled and thanked him, but shook her head. The train stopped and passed on, but before it slowed up again, another man came through, and said: “Madam, you'd better get off at the next place with your charge. We are com- ing to the Modified, Peptogenized, Sterilized Laboratory Station, and unless you get off here, I won't answer for that child’s life.’’ The lady thanked him politely, but kept her seat. By and by the train, which had passed this celebrated station, slowed up again, and another man came up. “You must surely get off here,” he said. “This is the Pasteurized, Constituent, Sepa- rated, Pilasmonated, Stuffing Baby Feed- ing Station, Patented. This is the right place.” And he showed her a sample photo- graph of a patient three months old and weighing at least three hundred pounds. But the lady was obdurate, and kept her seat. Finally, the train, after passing by a hundred or more other stations each labeled with startling letters, came to the end of its destination, Ruddyville. When the mayor of the place, who hap- pened to be at the station, saw the mother and child alight, he came forward and said: “My dear madam, how in the world did you succeed in getting that baby through with- out stopping off anywhere on the route?” «« Easy enough,’ said the mother. ‘‘ Don't yon see that Icame on a good, old-fashioned milk train?” Yom Maxson, Ad Infinitum. (Dr. Dempwoltf, of Berlin, announces that he has found an aquatic insect which preys upon the anopheles mosquito. Me is cultivating the creature artiticially, with the expectation of de- stroying the mosquito and the host of germs which inhabit its body.) fPHEY'VE found the bug vy hold the bug ‘That eats the bug ‘That scolds the bug That fights the bug That told the bug That bites us; To pinch us; They've traced the germ They chase the germ That kills the germ, at helps the g That chews the ge ‘That cheers the germ That smites us. To clinch us. ‘They know the bug ‘They've struck the bug That knifes the bug pat slays the bug That stabs the bug That flags the bug ‘That jabs us ; That sticks us ; They've seen the germ They've jailed the germ ‘That hates the germ ‘That guides the germ ‘That biffs the germ ‘That taught the germ That nabs us. To fix us. They've chained the bug But still these bugs— That bolts the bug Microbie thugs— That jolts the bug In spite of drugs That bings us ; Combat us ; They've got the germ And still these gernis— That gulps the germ Described in terms ‘That nips the germ Inspiring squiras— That stings us. Getatus! WD. Nesbit, —_—— = ON Sys xy “Mow WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAVE YOUR PICTURE TAKEN, LITTLE GinL?"* “say, DON'T Yoos KNOW A BoY WHEN You see Itt”? comicbooks.com