Life — March 12, 1903 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LAY OF ANCIENT ROM Ob, the Roman was a rogue, He erat, was, you bettui He ran his automobilis And smoked bis cigarettum; He were a diamond studibus And elegant cravattum, A maxima cum la And such a stylish ho He loved the luscious hic-hwe-hock, And bet on games and eq) At times he won; at others, though, He got it in the nequi; He winked (quo usque ta At puellas on the For: And sometimes even m: Those g00-g00 oculorum. He frequently was sec At combats gladiatorial, And ate enough to feed Ten boarders at Memorial; He often went on sprees, And said, on starting homus, “Hic labor—opus est Oh, here's my hic—bie—domu: Although he lived in Rome Of all the arts the midd! He was (excuse the phrase) A horrid individ’) Ab, what a different thing Was the mo (dative, hominy) Of far-away B. C. From us of Anno Domini! anghal Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY That’s All! THE WILSON DISTILLING Co., ‘Baltimore, Md. IN 1118 reminiscences, Charles Brookfield, the re- tired English actor, says: “My father was dining in London one night at the Oxford and Cambridge Club with Tennyson and two or three others, After dinner the poct insisted on putting his feet on the table, tilting back his chair ‘more Americano.’ There were strangers In the room, and he was ex- postulated with for his uncouthness, but in vain. “Do put down your feet!" pleaded his host. ‘Why should I? ed Tennyson; ‘I'm very comfortable as T am. staring at you,’ sald an- other. ‘Let ‘em stare,’ replied the poet, plactdly. ‘Alfred,’ said my father, ‘people will think you're Longfellow.” Down went the feet."—Argonaut. I was at Caribou last Saturday. The day was fine. I took the sidewalk near the Burleigh Hotel, and passed down Sweden street. On this particular sidewalk was a huge drift of snow as high as the vine-covered fence. Pedestrians had made a nar- row path through It two feet deep. When I had If way down this “straight and nar- row path," I met a lady, young and handsome. As I did not want to get into the snow up to my watch pocket, I turned around to go back. “Wait a minute,” said she, “I will show you how to pass; put your arms around my waist.” After hesitating a moment, I did so; she then put her arms around me and said: “Turn as you would in a waltz.”* ed, and all too soon we had conveniently passed each other. “Everything is easy in this world {f you only know bow, d the charmer, as she tripped along again.”—-Aroostook Republican. Tuts fs the way a Billville justice laid dows the In “Mr. Bailiff, take the lawyer to jail tor ten days, give the woman a divorce, whip the hus. band and bring in a jug of Hquor Atlanta Con- stitution, “ARE you suro the course is clear," she whis- pered, sliding down to the arms of her lover. “Yes," be responded; “I succeeded in b hole In the water pipe. Your father has discc it, and will keep his finger over the hole unt) plumber arrives. Come!"—Philadelphia Bul “You say Grace married into the smart set?” “Gracious, no; she was divorced into {:."~ Baltimore Herald. Stontes concerning the rivalry between Chicago and St. Louis evidently will never grow old. The latest concerns a visit which Alderman Michael Kenna, “Hinky Dink,” recently paid to St. Louis He wished to talk to a friend who lives in the sub- urbs of the Missouri city, and, as be had a dime in his pocket for change, called up over the telephone. He talked but a few minutes, and then asked the central operator how much he must deposit for the call. “Fifty cents, please,” was the answer, in a most confident vole fty cents!” gasped the alderman, “What do you take me for? A man with coin to burn? Why, in Chicago I can call up hades for 50 cents.” “Perhaps so,” was the answer, still framed the most unruffled tone; “but that’s within the city limits, you know."—Man in the Street (New York Times). Lire ts for sale by all Newsd Company, Bream’s Ballding, Chancery Lane, Loudon, E.C., England, AGENTS, table, = MAPLEWOOD NEAR CINCINNATI, OHIO. A Sanatoriam established in 1875 for the pri- vate care and mei Alcoholte Addictions, — Thou Asthma, Bronchitis, and sands having falied elsewhe atarrh, Home Treatment if Desired. Address Tae DR. J. L. STEPHENS Co . by us. cal treatment of Drug been cured LeBaNox, U. On every smart woman's dressing | BORINE |The best Antiseptic. Non-acid. ‘THE NAME IS EVERYTHING” Esterbrook on a pen fs, guarantee of an absolute its excellence tic No. 135. easy writing. favorite. every pur stationers Accept no Works, Camden. N.J. 26 John Strect, N. Ys VIOLETTES » CZAR LUMPS OF PEPPER 1” foup or saled dressing are ach and absolately indlgestibic’ MoILHENNY'S Sabasco Sauce uard eaayeason ng, isa'ready dissolved and 18a poritive aid todigestion. Try itonca At allgrocera Freo ocklet on request, McILHENNY’S TABASCO, New Iberia, La. THE EVER FASHIONABLE PERFUME OF ORIZA-L. LEGRAND (Grand Prix Paris 1900: comicbooks.com