Life — February 26, 1903 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A WELL-KNOWN Judge, who is as famous for bis wit as for bis corpulency, was much disturbed in mind by his tendency to ever-increasing stoutness. He tricd many remedies, but without any success. At length a friend suggested that he should take a of treatment at certain hot springs. He diately set out for the place, sojourned for a few weeks at it, managed to get rid of a gocd deal of his superfluous flesh, and returned home in a most happy and jocular f of mind. On the first morning after his return, when he was wending his way to the court house, he came to the butcher's shop where his family were supplied Marching inside, he sald: Cut me off twenty pounds of pork.” The butcher sharpened his knife and at once complied. The judge looked at the meat for a min- ute or two and then walked off. Shall I send the pork to your house, my lord?” red the butcher, who felt that the Judge had overlooked. instructions ‘Ob, no," was the reply, given with a smile, “[ don't want it. I have fallen off just twenty pounds, I only wanted to have an {dea of how much ft was !"—Exchange. with meat. Iv your friend 1s possessed of an artistic taste and rather hard (o please, you will save yourself me and trouble by 0 Curtis and Cameron, of Boston, for @ catalogue © Copley Prints, A portrait of Winston Churchill's ater, entitled * Little Miss Churcblll,"" by Mrs. Kenyon Cox, nod a characterisile picture called “The Siesta,” by Gangengigl, the Metssonnier of America, are among the latest and most beautiful reproductions, and either or both wooul make ® most accepusble gift, or would further adorn your own walls, AN amusing street incident happened recently. A young lady left her husband's side to look in a window. On leaving it she took, as she thought, ber husband's arm, and continucd her conversation. “You see,’ she said, “you don't even look at anything I want you to see. You never care how Iam dressed. You no longer love me. Why, you have not even kissed me for a week, and——" “Madam, I am sorry; but that is my misfortune, not my fault,” said the man, turning round.— change, My brother-in-law was also an inveterate and clever story-teller, and of course occasionally made a slip, as, for instance, on a railway journey to Brighton once, when he found himself alone with a er. The stranger in conversation happened my relative, casually, if he fond of traveling. “Traveling? I should rather think so,” he re- plied, airily; and, imagining he was {mpressing someone who was “something in the city,” be con- tinued, “Yes, sir, I'm a pretty experienced traveler. Been mostly round the world and all that kind of thing, you know, and had my share of adventures, T can tell you!” After a bit be gained more confidence and launched {nto details, giving the stranger the benefit of his experience. “Why, sir, you read in books that hunters of big game, such as tigers, watch their eyes. Not a bit of it. What you have got to do is to watch the tail, That's the thing! It mes- merizes the animal, so to speak, and you have him at your mercy.” On arriving at the hotel he found that his traveling companion bad just signed his name in the were visitors’ book. It was Richard F. Burton, one of the greatest travelers of the age! My brother-in- law hastened to apologize to Sir Richard for his absurd tales. He had no idea, of course, to whom he was retailing bis yarns. Burton laughed. “My dear sir, not a word, please. I was more entertained than I can ‘tell you, You really might have traveled—you lie so well."—Harry Furniss“ Confessions of a Cartea- tuerist.” Tie monkey lost his hold and fell into the crocodile’s waiting jaws. Even then bis wits did not desert him. “I just dropped in for dinner.” ho said, with an engaging smile—Yale Record. Ix Kentucky: still.—Cornelt Widow With all its faults, I love the WANT 7,200,000 BOTTLES, A deal has just been clo-ed by William Lanahan & Son, Baltimore, Md,, proprietors of Hunter Baltimore Ry ng 80,000 gros x the year 1663, ‘There are to be shipped fifty gross per day, and no less than three car loads per week. It will require 156 care to carry the product from Pittsburg to Baltimore, or four ordinary freight traing, Fach bot:le is twelve inches long. ‘There will be 7,200,000 botiles, which, if placed end to end, would make a line of bottles about 1,500 miles long, Atsuming that there are an average of thirty-two drinks to the bottle the order will have @ capacity of 230,400,000 drinks, or about three drinks for every person in the United Sta In all there will be a capacity of 1,440,000 gallons in the 7,20,000 bottles above speaks vol- umes for the popularity of Hunter Baltimore Rye, VIRGINIA HOT SPRINGS 1.500 Feet Elevation Magnificent Mountain Surroundings Open All the Year The first-class, round- trip rate, Chicago to Cali- fornia, is $110. Tickets are gocd to return any time within nine months. Stop- overs are allowed. One stop-over, that is distinctly worth while, is at El Paso—to get a glimpse of Old Mexico. The train to take to California is the Golden State Limited via the El Paso-Rock Island route. ewest, finest, and most luxuriously equipped train across the continent. Reached by the Chesapeake & Ohio Railway INCOMPARABLE SPRING, SUMMER AND FALL CLIMATE Luxurious baths and most curative waters known for rheumatism, gout, obesity and nervous troubles, New golf club house with squash court, lounging rooms, café, ping pong, etc. Fine golf links, tennis courts, pleasure pool, excellent livery and all outdoor pastimes. Now Homestead and Cottages.—The hotel is a brick structure of the highest class, completed in September, 1G02, containing 400 rooms and 200 private baths. Long distaace ‘phone in each’room, Broker's office with direct New York wire. Pullman compartment car from New York via Washington and the Chesapeake and Ohio Railway. The F. F. V. Limited, leaving New York 4:55 P. M., arrives Hot Springs 7:25 A.M. Excursion ‘tickets at C. & O. offices, 362 roadway, New York, and ottices Pennsylvania R. R. and connecting lines throughout the country, For hotel information, address FRED. STERRY, Manager, Hot Sprinas, BaTH Co., Va. Less than three days Chicago to Los Angeles. Thro’ cars to Santa Barbara and San Francisco. Electric lights; electric fans; barber shop: bath room; Booklovers’ Library; compartment and standard sleepers; observation, dining and library cars. Cut out this ad and mail it, with name and address, to this office, and beautifully illustrated book about Call- fornia will be sent free. Write or call for further information. Jno. Sebastian, P.T.M., Chicago, Ill. comicbooks.com