Life, 1903-02-12 · page 7 of 22
Life — February 12, 1903 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct elements: **"Time's Valentine"** (left): A satirical poem mocking Father Time's romantic pursuits. The verse humorously portrays Time as an aging suitor attempting to court women, with the punchline that women resist him because "they sweetly admit that they waste / Time." **"Cory-Kilvert" cartoon** (top right): Shows people huddled in an igloo with the caption about it being dark enough to make matches without seeing. This appears to be a joke about obscurity or invisibility in harsh conditions. **"This Country of Ours"** (bottom right): A satirical article mocking the U.S. Government's three "departments"—Wall Street, the W.C.T.U. (Women's Christian Temperance Union), and the Beet Sugar Industry—suggesting these actually govern America rather than official agencies. It's political satire about corporate and special-interest influence.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Time’s Valentine. Said, I think I'll scribble a bit o’ rhyme, To send to the sweetest m on earth.” And the old fellow chuckled in roguish mirth, He reached for his inkhorn and quill, then said, As he absently nodded his wise old head, “But what maiden is gentle and sweet and fine Enough to be my Valentine? There's a musical girl in Kalamazoo,— But I hear she beats Time, so she won't do ; There's fair NewYork girl, proud and calm, But they say she kills Time without a qualm ! AA pretty clubwoman I saw one day, But ‘I won't have Time,’ I heard her say. For one of those summer girls I yearn; But they declare they *have Time to burn.’ ‘There are lovely girls in a Southern clime, But they sweetly admit that they waste Time, “B-CORY- KILVERT — e . @ 2° Cupid: 11's EASY ENOCUM TO MAKE MATCHES IN THIS COUNTRY, WHERE IT 18 80 DARK YOU CAN'T SER WHAT YOU ARE SPOONING WITH. While the bustling woman, with manners curt, Takes Time by the forelock, and that does hurt. On the Boston maiden I make no claim, To improve Time seems to be her ait And I heard an old spinster contriving a plan, Say, ‘I'll try to get Time as soon as I can.” So none of these whom I've mentioned yet A Valentine from Time shall get. But I've in mind a maiden who, When a fond lover came to woo, Just blushed and hung down her pretty head, And ‘Give me Time!’ was all she said. By Cupid, that's the maid for me! To her my Valentine shall be.” Carolyn Wells, This Country of Ours. ‘THE Government of the United States comprises three depart- ments, viz.: Wall Street, the W. C. T. U., and the Beet Sugar Industry. The Beet Sugar Interests fix the tariff. The W. C. .T. U. determines what pictures shall hang in the White House. Wall Street, with such clerical help as Congress may render, does the rest. SOME DESIGNS FOR BOOK PLATES. comicbooks.com