Life — February 5, 1903 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PLUTOCRAT'S CHANT. Tell me not tn mournful numbers but an empty dream, lumbers 8 are not what they seem. Trusts are real, trusts are earnest, Wealth unbounded {s their goal, Dust thou art, to dust returnest Was not spoken of King Coal. —B. Prieth, in The Whim. Wits President Roosevelt's boys are diverting Washington society with their doings, President Hadley’s children are as entertalningly contributtr to the gayety of New Haven and the Yale ca Some of the stories about Arthur T. Hadle: (and these are the ones most relished by (he stu- dents), have led him to be punningly referred to as the minus scion of a noble house. One of them relates that he recently took pos- fon of the bathroom, and patriotically repro- duced the battle of Santiago In the tub with minia- ture warships of bis own make. After a time his mother ordered him out, as she wished to tak bath. Young Hadley, however, unheedingly c ued to loop the loop. Opportunely his father arrived and commanded Live ts for sate by all Newsd the boy through the keyhole to abdicate. The boy sald nothing, but was too wise to oppose his father. Soon the water was heard running from the tub, the key turned in the lock, and out marched Master Arthur. Not a word did he say until he had opened the front door and provided an avenue of escape. Then bis voice arose defiantly: “Well,” he shouted, “I came out for you, but I've got the plug to the tub with me, and the Presi- dont of Yale College himself couldn't take a bath now !'"—Newo York Times. Tur. story Is told of a young man In West Gard- ner who called one night a few weeks ago upon a young lady who lived a considerable distance from his home. It was raining hard that night and when the young man started to take his leave at about 11 o'clock the mother of the young lady upon whom he had been calling told him that he had better remain there that night and occupy the spare cham- ber. He told them that he thought perhaps he would, but upon their return to the front room after a few minutes’ absence they found that their vis- itor had gone. Supposing that he had changed bis mind and decided to spend the night at home, they locked the doors and started to retire, when there came a knock at the door. Upon opening It they found the young man with a Mttle bundle under bis arm. He explained that he had just been dome after his night clothing.—Gardner (Mass.) News. Two old pals met on the street. “I saw you in the liquor men’s parade Tues. day,” one of them sald. “Ob, yes.” ‘Now, you tell me about it. fellows in front on horses?” “Those? Why, those were the wholesaler “Well, who were those fellows in carriages? “Those fellows in plug hats, smoking the big, black cigars?” “They were the distillers and brewers.” “Who were those fellows walking there with the white plug hats, white coats and gold-headed Who were those ‘hey were the retailers.” Vho were those fellows that brought up the ‘ellows with cauliflower noses and fringe oa their pants—the crowd I was with?” “Yes. bh, they were the consumers."—The Dela- warean, ers in Great Britain, The International News cery Lane, London, E. C., England, AGENTS. Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY That’s HE WILSON DISTILLING ©O., Baltimore, Md. Dyspepsia and other stomach troubles quickly relieved and in most cases surely cured by the use of This scientific germicide is abso- futely harmless; it subdues the inflammation of the mucous mem- brane of the stomach, and by re- 7 moving the cause, effects a cure. W Used and recommended by leading phy- sicians. Take no substitute and sce that each bottle bears my signature. Trial size, $1.00, at druggists or by mail, from. Ch Chestctanatans Dept. D., GO Prince St. New York. Send for Booklet, a boendl) | Constable Co. Printed Satin Foulard. 4 99 | Shantung, Habutai, and India Silks. | NOVELTIES IN Rich Evening Silks. | Ombrée Moire Louisine, New Crépe Rustique, and Ninon. e Silks and Satins Wedding Gowns. Novelties for Bridesmaids’ Dresses. Black Silks, Velvets. Rroadooay Ko 1986 ot. All! Two Elements of Social Life ure Health and Hospitality. Hunter Baltimore Rye contributes to both. Wa. Lanauay & Son, Baltimore, Md. Mirette, for BLACK, STARR and FROST, 438 FIETH AVE., NEW YORK. PRECIOUS If yoaw POST- ie! dy the ACE. NEW YORK. All you have guessed about life insurance may be wrong, to know the truth, end for “How and Why,” Pexx Metvat Live, 9213-5 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia, Prompt Rellet for Coughs, Colds, Asthma, Bronchitis, BoarsenessaSore Throat ROYAL L. LEGRAND «x. THE LATEST SUCCESS OF THE A-PERFUMERY (Grand Prix Paris 1900) comicbooks.com