Life — January 8, 1903 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MEHITABLE HAWKINS. Mebitable Hawkins (if you should I'll bet you would much rather not, than to be her!) Mehitable Hawkins Was ricber than c Her riches beat © Ar dream ! She dressed up in satins And imported thin And tr! d all her hats with The choicest of wing She called up ber footman, And g00 s alive! How folks craved her When she went to drive! She touched on a button. The world bent the kn She walked The world She ate from plates gold ‘The rarest of foods, If soured on sour She ordered up sweet And the wealth of the world park and Was laid at her feet. eer see her, Ab! tell me, now who could Much happler be, Than this most remarkable Was sixty years old And had more of temper Than she had of gold; She raved at her dresses And imported things, And swore at her hats and Her choice, costly wings; Her footman, poor fellow, Was very With frequence of cuss Aimed at bis poor he: She swore at the servants She'd frequently fall; Her golden plates bored her, ‘The foods botches were— Not even her habits Would last long with her; She soured on sour, She soured on sweet— Not the wealth of the world Cured the corns on her feet; In fact, for each coin that She threw to the wind, She paid to the limit In unrest of mind. Mehitable Hawkins (if you should e’er see ber I'll bet you would much rather not than to be ber) —Baltimore Neics. AN AMUSING sToRY is told of the editor of a gy abead London evening newspaper who, In the et nal rushing to press to get ahead of the oppositics was constantly impressing upon bis reporters tte necessity for condensing all news, A terrific boiler explosion had taken place @ board a big ship lying at Portsmouth. “Get down there as hard as you can,” he sald ty one of his men. “If you catch the 11.40 from Loe don Bridge. you'll be there soon after 2, and ca just wire us something for the fifth edition; bz boil it dows And the reporter went. Soon after 3 o'cloct that afternoon they got a wire from him: “Terrific explosion. Man-o'-war. Boller empty Engineer full. Funeral to-morrow.”—London Ti. Bits. \ Live ts for sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain, The International News eamn’s Bullding, Chancery Lane, London, E.., England, AGENTS. Established (823. WILSON eaten WHISKEY Rye is the result of selected Rye, That’s All! cureful distillation, thorough ageing. | The High Standard of Hunter THE WILSON DISTILLING CO., Baltimore, Md. Wa, Laxauan & Sox, Baltimore, Md. Jondonderry LITHIA WATER Beguiles the tedium of a long jour- ney because it refreshes and invigor- ates, besides preventing the system from becoming deranged by the irregular habits that result from much traveling. LONDONDERRY is sold on all buffet and dining cars poe the same as at your hotel or club, ciat oF dealer's AROMATIC DELICACY MILDNESS — PURITY Retains the full flavor of and is a sub- stitute for fresh asparagus. Served at fountains and cafes. Sold by grocers. Chicago, Illinois For lovers of good things to eat and drink. A delicious beverage and a piquant seasoning. Armour & Company, comicbooks.com