Life — January 1, 1903 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Carpiry, WALES, has just started a new electric railway service. A number of by-laws have been framed by the corporation for the regulation of the traMc and passengers, and this {s how they are summed up in rhyme: ‘Thou shalt not use cuss words or swear, Or play sweet music on the alr Or give out tracts or ask for alms, Give way to cards or such like charms. When drunk thou shalt in nowise ride; No dog or beast shall with thee bide. Thou shalt not cut or scratch thy name, Defile the car, deface the same. Thou shalt not smoke, thou shalt not spit, No antics, mind, but merely sit. Don't try to boss or interfere, Or show the driver bow to steer. Just sit you down and take your rest— ‘The men must know their business best, And keep your hands off curious things, The trolley rope, the bell that rings. Upon or off a moving car Thou shalt not jump, so friend, beware. Nor carry gun or dangerous thing, Nor with disease that risk may bring. Pay up, nor grumble at the fare, Before you quit or leave the car. Such 1s the law, don’t say it nay; There's fines for those who don't obey! —Western Mail. To wave helped a great man on his way !s something to remember. A Chicago paper says of one Western Senator that he takes pride in never saying more than “yes” or “no” to newspaper men. One day a correspondent interviewed him with the usual result, and ended by asking: “What is the largest city in South Dakota?” The Senator looked his surprise, but replied courteously: “Sloux Falls. ‘The reporter bowed and took his leave. A few moments later he met a friend, and said to bim: ve beaten all you fellows, I've just added the words ‘Sioux Falls’ to Senator "8 vocabu- lary.""—Youth’s Companion, One useful element of a literary style Is sug- gestion. The author does not tell a laborious story. He presents a picture in as few words a3 possible, allowing the reader to fill in the details for himself. This was the unconsclous method of little Margaret, who had had a present of some sugared almonds, and was laboring under an impulse of generosity. Aunty,” said she, “don't you want some of my almonds?" “Thank you, dear,” was the prompt reply, “I will take one or two. Sugared almonds are favor- {tes of mine.” “Well, which ts the most favorites, the pink ones or the white ones? “I will take the white ones, please; that is, if you don’t mind." “That'll be just right, aunty. You take the white ones, and I will keep the pink ones. They were all pink at first.""—Philadelphia Telegraph. Mr. C. Brooxririy, tn his very readable “Rem- iniscences,” tells the story, which he fathers on Lord Hardwicke, of bow Poole, the tailor, went to a fashionable entertainment at a large country house, and on being asked next day how he had got on, replied: “Very well; but the company was rather mixed.” “You surely did not expect all of them to be tailors?" was the reply. The story 1s not told as original, and the Standard has had a lot of serious correspondence about It which fs of a laughable character. ing Times. Sport- RAL “PuIL” SHERIDAN was at one time asked at what little Incident did he laugh the most. “Well.” he sald, “I do not know, but I always laugh when I think of the Irishman and the army mule. I was riding down the line one day, when I saw an Irishman mounted on a mule which was kicking its legs rather freely. The mule finally got its hoof caught in the stirrup, when, In the ex- citement, the Irishman remarked: ‘Well, begorrab. it you're goin’ to get on, I'll get off!’ "—New York Tribune. THE country editor had turned the personal col- umn over to bis daughter temporarily, while poll- tics claimed bis attention. The daughter had studied country editorial meth- ods to some advantage, and the following items ap. peared : “Tom Jones called last evening with a two- pound box of candy. Call again, Tom." “Harry Mason was around with his trotter aid sidebar buggy last week. Don't forget the number, Harry." “George Brown's billboard 1s said to be good for two seats for anything that comes. We always like to see Gcorge on show nights.” “Miss Mary Martin, the milliner, has a mag- nifcent display of the latest styles in her st window. How much {s this good for, Mary?”"— Chicago Post. Dr. WiLtiaM Byxon Fornvsn, pastor of the Winthrop Church, Boston, told a little story to Mlustrate the nature of a boy's ambitions at tho “Congress About Boys” which recently met in this city. He sald a gentleman in Springfield, Mass., met a boy walking on the shores of Massasoit Lake. He was such a bright, manly little fellow that the man could not forbear stopping to talk with him. After some conversation he asked him how old he was. The little chap appeared confused, hesitated, and finally replied: Vell, I ain't but twelve, but my pants is marked sixteen.""—New York, Times. ANp it came to pass that the Sluggard, after con- sulting the Sage from Sageville, heeded his advice and went to the Ant for the purpose of acquiring a Job lot of wisdom. But when he finally arrived at the hill where the Ant tolled eighteen hours daily, he discovered a half-starved Ant-cater making a one-course dinner of the Ant colony. “Verily,” remarked the Sluggard to himself, as he turned away in disgust, “if that 1s the reward of industry, I shall continue to slug as heretofore."— Chicago News. Live is for sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain, The International News Company, Bream's Ballding, Chancery Lane, London, E.C., England, AGENTS, Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s All! THE WILSON DISTILLING Cu., Balumore, Md. CHESTER CREST, i North Fourth Avenue, Mount Vernon, New York. Aquiet resort with every comfort, for men nervously disordered through dissipa- tion. Communications strictly confidential. Address G. $8. Avery, Manager. Tele- phone—445 A. Mount Vernon. 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