Life — December 25, 1902 — page 68: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN ESKIMELODRAMA. "Mid Greenland’s polar ice and snow, Where watermelons seldom grow (It's far too cold up there, you know), There dwelt a bold young Eskimo. Beneath the self-same {ceberg’s shade, In fur of seal and bear ar (Not over cleanly, I'm afrald), There lived a charming Eskimatd. Thro‘out the six months’ night they'd spoon (Ab, ye of sage, think what a boon). To stop at ten is much too soon Beneath the silvery Eskimoon The hated rival now we see! (You sp the coming tragedy But I can't help it; don’t blame me.) An Eskimucher vile was He found the lovers there alon He killed the with his axe of bone. (You see how fierce the ta grown) — The fond pair died with an Eskimoan. Two graves were dug, deep In the fc Were lined with furs, moth balls, and sple The two were buried in a tric Quite safe from all the Eskix Now Fido cot alas, too late! (I hope it’s not indelicate These little incidents to state)— The Eskimurderer he ate Upon an Eskimo to Was too much for an Eskipup— He died. His Eskimemory Is thus kent green In verse by me. -The Cornett Widow, IN PRAISE OF PROSPERITY They raised his salary two years ago last May, The said increase amounting to thirty cents a day, Since then they've raised the prices Of carrots and of beets, Of four and of meats, Of corn and coal and fruits, Of babies’ little boot Of potatoes, milk cheese, Of the product of the bees, Of hats and rocks and coats, Of all that sinks or floats. He's paying out the money that he saved before hi raise, But prosperity’s upon us, and his heart ts full of praise —Chicago Pout, Now it came to pass that the reformers suc- ceeded at last In having a portion of the earth set apart for them, where they could reorganize so- clety on a basis that suited them. They had been running their beautiful little Utopia two or three years when a stranger in happened along. “presi 8 stranger, “you are all perfectly happy here, with your single tax, your initiative and referendum, your compulsory arbi- tration, your municipal ownership and all the rest of it.” 0, Not exactly,” replied a tired-looking citl- with some reluctance. “We're organized on the right basis and our plan of society is perfect, but somehow or other the people that live here are the darnedest, contrariest cranks you ever heard of !"—Chicago Trivune. AnonG the stories told to the Christian Endeay orers while they were in Boston was one concern- ing a peripatetic of the barefooted variety and a farmer, who was also a church deacon. The dea- con was taking lunch under bis own vine and fig tree, and unto him the peripatetic said: “Sir, 'm very hungry.” You haven't been shaved,” replied the deacon “No, but I'm very bungry. ‘ou're very dirty, into the bargain.” “Yes, but I'm very hungry.” Well, can you say the Lord's Prayer?” xo, I can’t.” “WIL you say It for a piece ct bread?” Twill” The deacon started in with “Our Father,” at same time cutting off a slice as he enunciated words. The tramp repeated “Our Father,” tt uddenly asked: “Did you say ‘Our Father'?” “Yes, ‘Our Father.” top just a moment,” continued the dirty « “You mean your father and my father?” “I do,” answered the deacon. “Then we aro brothers,” triumphantly proces the unshaved. “We are.” “Then, for our father’s sake, cut that br thicker and cut it quicker.""—Boston Herald. “Where purity is paramount”: in the fam No. 4711 White Rose toflet soap. The very quint nee of reflnement cf manufacture in the fumer’s art. An exquisite accessory to the gene toilet. Transparent and pure, it will wear wafer, preserving Its matchless perfume to the Once used, you will take no other. Send 15 ¢ for sample cake to Mulhens & Kropf, 298 Broad way, New York, “I rreaciten to a congregation of asses to-day “I noticed that you called them your ‘dear brothers." "—New York Sun. ‘Before you do another thing James, bring me a CLUB CocKTAIL Im so tired shoppin make ita MARTINI Ineed a little Toni and its so much bette than adrug of any kin FOR SALE BY ALL DEALERS G.F. HEUBLEIN& BRO. HARTFORD. NEw YORK, LONDON. comicbooks.com