Life — December 25, 1902 — page 66: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Lie. THE MAN HE KILLEO. Scene: The settle of the Fox Inn, Stagfoot Lane. Characters: The speaker (a returned soldier), and bis friends, natives of the hamlet. r Had he and I but met By some old ancient tno, We should have sat us down to wet Right many a nipp in, It But ranged as infantry, And staring face to face, I shot at bim, as he at me, And killed him in his place. It I shot him dead, because Because he was my foc You see; my foe of course t That's clear enough; a Was out of work—had sold bis traps— No other reason why Yes; quaint and curious war ts! You shoot a fellow down ‘ou'd treat if met where any bar Is, Or help to half a crown. —Thomas Hardy, in Harper's Weekly. "Is THIs the best wurst you can send me?” it was a cow." Some three days later, be was asked the lady who walked into the meat store with walking in the rural districts of the college tows, a package of that edible in ber hand. and, after a tramp of a couple of miles, was again Madam,” answered the meat man, “It is the deeply engrossed in mathematical research. Be- best wurst we have.” fore he had taken many steps, he ran into a cow, “Well, it ts the worst wurst I ever saw!" and quickly exclaimed: “Beg your pardon, madam !* “Iam sorry to hear that. The best I can do is | —Argonaut to try and send you some better wurst from to-day's lot, but, as I said, that was the best wurst we have at present. [ am sure, however, that the wurst we Raymon» & Wuttcomp COMPANY announce the aie now making will not be.any worse than. thts: resumption of their trans-continental train service and it ought to be better. I assure you that as soon for California and Mexico. Their trains body I get the wurst you shall have the best of it every convenience and comfort. For those who wish We never gavevany one*tbevworst of Iv'to long as to reach their destination quickly, there are cars we have been in the wurst business, and you may be running directly from New York and other E; sure that when we give you your wurst it will be Citles without change; and for those who prefer to the best, for our worst wurst is better wurst than travel leisurely, there are tralas whose train yched the best Wurat of our ‘competitors: ules enable the passenger to break the journey « numerous places for rest and sight-seeing without But the lady, whose eyes had taken on a stare losing their sleeping car accommodations. of glassiness, wax seen to throw up her hands and fice from the place, for she was afraid the worst was yet to come.—Faltimore American A CHARACTERISTIC story ts told of Abe Gruber, the well-known New York lawyer. When he was a Not long ago a certain Eastern professor, while boy looking for something to do he saw the «igo, he was surveying the hazy outlines of the New “Boy Wanted,” banging outside of a store in New Jersey bills in company with a friend, passed a York. He picked up the sign and entered the stor woman whom he knew, She politely bowed, but ‘The proprietor met him, “What did you bring that the professor, having bis mind bent on the solution sign in here for?” asked the storekeeper. of the problem of the geometrical tri-section of an “You won't need it any more,” sald Grube ang! her not. When bis friend asked bim cheerfully, “I'm going to take the job."—IiVa why he thus cut ber, he replied that he ington Post. In Twenty Years we have saved the world enough labor to build an Empire. WYCKOFF, SEAMANS & BENEDICT (Remington Typewriter Co.) 327 BROADWAY NEW YORK comicbooks.com