Life — December 25, 1902 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PARENTAL SOLICITUDE, Algernon Jones ate Paris Green, And died all over the carpet clean. ‘The loss of the rug piqued Algie’s father, Who remarked, “He always was a bother.” Ermintrude Hopkins broke her spine, And passed ‘away at half-past nine Her mother was sorry, and said, “What a pity! I'm already late for my train to the city.” —Harvard Lampoon. A Fayette woman suspected that her husband was in the habit of kissing the hired girl, and re- solved to detect him in the act. Saturday night she saw him pass quietly Into the kitchen. The hired girl was out, and the kitchen was dark. The jeal- ous wife took a few matches in her hand, and, has- tily placing a shawl over her head, as the hired girl often did, entered the back door, and imme- diately she was selzed and kissed and embraced In an ardent With heart almost bursting the wife prepared to administer a terrible rebuke to the faithless spouse, and, tearing herself away from his fond embrace, she struck a match and stood face to face with—the hired man.—Salisbury Press-Spectator. manner. § At NvLLy Eanty in bis Iterary career, the late Frank Stockton, in conjunction with his brother, Jobn, wrote many poems with which they aMicted the editors of various periodicals. The effusions came back always. The editor of one magazine was an especial target of the Stocktons, but as vone of their poems were ever accepted, the brothers came to the conclusion that this editor had no conception of good poetry. To prove their belief, they hunted up and dispatched to him an ode little known from Milton, Within two days they received a check and a letter of thanks. “I came to the conclusion that that editor knew poetry when he saw It, after all,” Mr. Stockton used to say; “and gave up trying to write it.”"—Argonaut, Tim prospective juror was under examination by the attorney for the defense. “Have you expressed an opinion on the merits of this case?” “No, sir.” “Have you formed such an opinion?" No, sir.” Have you read of the case?” No, sir." Do you know anyone who has formed an opin- fon?” “Well, I can’t just say as to that.” “Ah! now we're beginning to get down to Inter. esting facts. You think it possible that you may know such a person?” “I think {t probable.” “Yes, yes, of course. And do you know anyone who has read about the case?” “I know a man who has a cousin who works on a newspaper and reads nearly everything.” “Ha! then you have some connection with a mao who presumably has read about the case and formed an opinion! We'll get at the whole truth presently. Now, sir, do you know the prosecuting witness or any of his lawyers?” “No, sir.” “Do you know anyone who does know them?" “We—ell"— Speak up! anything.” “Well, I know a man whose wife's brother once worked for the father of one of the lawyers.” Challenged for cause!” cried the attorney for the defense triumphantly.—Brooklyn Eagle. “You have disobeyed me, Tommy. Didn't I say no when you asked me for another piece of cake?" “Well, maybe you think I don’t know what a woman's ‘no’ means.""—Town and Country. Speak up! Don’t try to conceal Live ts for sal by all Newsdealers in Great Britain, The International News Company, Bream's Bullding, Chancery Lane, London, E.C., England, AGENTS, ~ Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s THE WILSON DISTILLING Cu., more, Md. wins and wears, and never disappoints. of health. ers its high standard of quality. the charm of hospitality and the tonic Hunter Whiskey It always delights It never low- It is Wa. Lananan & Son, Baltimore, Md. CHESTER CR North Fourth Avenue, Mount Vernon, New York. Aqulet resort with every comfort, for men nervously disordered through dissipa- tion. Communications strictly confidential phone—445 A. Mount Vernon, Address G. EsT, 8. Avery, Manager. Tele- Fine Shirts a Specialty 206 BROADWAY, NEW YORK Eventnc Post Buitpinc A PLEASANT & AGREEABLE BEVERAGE MERCHANT TAILOR At your club or dealer's TOR WEAK STOMACHS The Egyptian Cigarette of Quality AROMATIC DELICACY— MILDNESS— PURITY comicbooks.com