Life — December 11, 1902 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

: LIFE: Literary People. I ITERARY people are SS) 44 not confined to any one quarter, but can be met with in all parts of the globe. One may be bored by a literary per- son at any crossroads. Sometimes those who start literary early in life outgrow it, but not often. It usually sticks, Literary people, for some reason, are always supposed to be bright. Having a reputation to sustain, they try 80 hard to live up toit that almost always they fail. They are roughly divided into two classes : the deep and the shallow, The deep literary person reads philosophy ; and worse than that, he talks about it. He reads history and talks about it, and other things and talks about them. The shallow literary person reads fiction and talks about it. “‘ Have you read ‘ The Blue Cat’?” he asks. ‘It is im- mense, It is better than ‘The Red Dog.’ You must read it. I will see that you do read it. I will hound you to death until yondo. I’llgiveyouacopy. I will talk of nothing else,”’ etc. The deep literary person, on the other hand, assumes an altogether different pose. He is outwardly calm. Saturated with masterpieces, cocked and primed for all comers, he waits hischance. The tax collector and the literary per- son are both bent on the same errand. They are both try- ing to collect bone and muscle and vital energy from those who have it. Those of us who do not read books, but prefer to get our material at first hand, know that we are superior to this bargain counter knowledge. But the literary fiend has the supreme advantage of not knowing what he is talking about. Bristling as he does with thoughts, he presents such an imposing front that we involuntarily shriuk from his presence. Shrinking, however, is of no avail. He has a mission, That mission is to instruct. Homer and Shakespeare, Theocritus and Martial are well enough by themselves, in odd moments when we are not gathering the material that enables us to enjoy them, but not filtered through a mind like this. As for the shallow literary person, she is usually a woman, She wears a magazine under her arm as a signal of the cargo she carries, and when she speaks, it is the voice of Iarper’s, McClure’s, or The Century, a8 tho case may be. Literary people, being entirely dependent upon others for what they think, are in reality false agents. Their very dependence makes them Jose the power of interpreting rightly what they read. There ought to be a custom house for literary people, where their minds can be rigidly examined, and where all foreign material can be promptly confiscated, or placed under such a high duty as to be prohibitive. Our native mental industries might then have a fair show. Tom Masson. A Crisis. N= YORK.—J. P. Morgan ate lemon pie for lunch, Wall Street is in a panic, ‘Wasmtxotox.—As toon as it was learned that J, P. Morgan had eaten lemon pie for lanch, the Cabinet met, There is no disposition to evade the crisis, ‘The Secretary of the Treasury will anticipate ax many quarterly interest payments as may be necessary to maintain confidence. Cuicaco.—Prominent Repablicans of the Middle West ridicule the suggestion that the tariff is responsible for J. P. Morgan cating lemon pie for lunch, They do not, however, deny the need of legislation of some sort. New York.—A bulletin issued at five o'clock declares there is no foundation for the report that Mr, Morgan has been delirious most of the time since eating lemon pie for lunch. The patient's pulse has not once gone beyond eeven hundred and forty, ‘The worst Is believed to be over. THE IDOLS OP THE AVERAGE MaN's LIFE. comicbooks.com